Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 23:10:01 -0700 Subject: 6Traits Digest #28 - 07/17/99 From: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> To: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable Sender: <6Traits@> Precedence: Bulk List-Software: LetterRip Pro 3.0.5 by Fog City Software, Inc. List-Subscribe: List-Digest: List-Unsubscribe: 6Traits Digest #28 - Saturday, July 17, 1999 6Traits- New web pages by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Paddington site by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Here are the official scores-Ideas by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> A *student* rubric guide - Ideas by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Possible Posters for Ideas by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Ideas #4 - 7/17/99 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> A last word about Ideas by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Ideas Rubric & Examples by "Shandra Beer" Re: 6Traits- Ideas by Journal Writing by "Debbie SoS" Example #3 by "Molly Godley" Web site update by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits- New web pages From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Fri, 16 Jul 1999 19:07:47 -0700 http://CyberSpaces.net/traits/ More pages are up - still a few more strategies to go. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Paddington site From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 09:42:45 -0700 Here's a literature site for resource. If you do Paddington Bear in your class, check out this site: http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Farm/1742/index.html If you like quilts, scroll to the bottom and check out the tour of the Sisters, OR, outdoor quilt show from last Saturday. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Here are the official scores-Ideas From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 10:05:51 -0700 #1 - The Day I Shrunk - 4 moving toward a 5 Easily identifiable purpose, relevant supporting details, a topic that is explored, with some connections and insights. Definitely stronger than = weak. #2 - Lazonya - 2 While I did enjoy reading this and the spelling of lazonya, it officially scored a 2 because the main idea is there (no one doubts that this is = about lazonya!), but the development is minimal. This is the definitive description of a level 2. #3 - Green is Good - 3 As some of you pointed out, it is unclear exactly what the purpose of this piece was. In fact, it was an assignment in persuasive writing, but even knowing that, it is unclear into what we are being persuaded. Supporting details tend to get off topic. There is a clear echo of ideas heard somewhere else. (I like the voice of paragraph 3, but it is definitely personification and oversimplification of idea.) #4 - Desert Rat - 4 or 5 It is always harder to evaluate one's own writing. =3D) This wasn't = written for anything except to express my joy in the first monsoon rain. It = wasn't an edited piece. I agree with those who said that some of the details were mixed up, and there was lack of development of certain ideas. For instance, the eating cactus to survive in the desert. It was not clear why that was in the paragraph, because I didn't mention that many desert animals get their water the same way. The topic did jump around, probably because my mind was jumping from one topic to another, in it's frenzy of rain euphoria. = =3D) Our students do this, too. Thanks to those of you who sent comments. If I were re-writing this = piece, I would definitely take your ideas into account. This is exactly what *some* of our students will be ready to hear. Some won't, and that is why permission is so important, as well as using examples from other = classrooms. There were some elements of 4 (supporting details that are relevant, but overly general or limited in places) and some of 5 (main ideas that stand out, well-suited to purpose), so you can call it. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: A *student* rubric guide - Ideas From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 10:15:04 -0700 You might use something like this for the students to judge their own = papers: 5-6 Paper: Focused, Clear and Specific My writing is full of the kinds of details that keep the reader's = attention and show what is really important about my topic. * I know a lot about this topic, and when someone else reads it, they'll find out some new or little-known information. * I made sure to show what was happening (The wildly spiraling tornado aimed straight for our barn) rather than telling what happened (It was scary). * I filled my paper with interesting tidbits that make reading it fun and lively. * I made sure my topic was small enough to handle. "All about Baseball" was too big. I changed it to "How to Steal a Base." * I could easily answer the question, "What is the point of this paper/story?" 3-4 Paper: Some Really Good Parts, Some Not There Yet The reader usually knows what I mean. Some parts iwll be better when I tell just a little more about what is important. * Some of the things I said are new, but other things everyone knows = already. * Some details I have used are pretty general, like, "Her hat was nice," or "It was a sunny day." * I think my topic might be too big and I got bogged down trying to tell = a little about a lot instead of a lot about a little. * Sometimes I was very clear about what I meant, but at other times, it was still fuzzy. 1-2 Paper: Just Beginning to Figure Out What I Want to Say. When someone else reads my paper, it will be hard for them to understand what I mean, or what it is all about. * I haven't shared much information. I guess I don't know enough yet about the topic to write about it. * My details are so vague it is hard to picture anything. * I'm still thinking aloud on paper. I'm looking for a good idea. * Maybe I'll write about this, but then, maybe I'll write about that.... From _The Student Friendly Guide to Writing With Traits_ by Vicki Spandel and Ruth Culham, which may be reproduced without permission by classroom teachers and student writers. copyright 1993 Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Possible Posters for Ideas From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 10:21:19 -0700 Printed on 8-1/2 x 11 paper in large type - maybe with a nice border (center print). IDEAS I show what I know in my picture or writing. I have a main idea and details to explain it. Student poster of questions to ask about ideas: IDEAS * Did I know what I wanted to say? Did I say it? * Did I focus on the main point? Did I have important details? * Will my readers be able to make mind pictures from what I said? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Ideas #4 - 7/17/99 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 10:30:02 -0700 Hello, writing facilitators! Last assignment for the week is to come up with some strategies for teaching the trait of ideas. Send these strategies to me personally. mailto:susan@desertskyone.com I will compile them and post them to = the website. Please include your full name, or all names from your group, at the bottom of the message. Thanks. To get you started, here is a specific lesson that my fellow trainers and = I developed. _Wilfred Godeon McDonald Partridge_ by Mem Fox 1. Read the book to the students. 2. Share a box of of your own memories - physical things that remind you of something, such as souvenirs from a vacation. 3. Talk about memories. Why did WBMP bring a box of "things" to Miss = Nancy? 4. Read the book a second time on the second day. 5. Students write sentence strips answering, "What is a memory?" Discuss = it. Students write individually in journal on the topic, adding their own ideas about what a memory is. 6. Invite students to bring a box of memory things, or 1 item. Share and discuss. 7. Students choose an item they brought and write in detail about the memory associated with it. Remember the 5 Ws and how. Remember the 5 senses. You may submit your ideas in a plan format, such as this one, or just as = an idea. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: A last word about Ideas From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 10:43:12 -0700 From the Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory, used with permission: Ideas - Where's the Link to Instruction? *Prewriting *Generating ideas *Keeping journals *Making lists of writing topics *Learning to observe carefully *Promoting thinking skills *Working with response groups *Revising (Re-visioning) >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> If you could see my desk (which is actually a 3 x 5 table, covered with scanner, two phones, computer, printer, and the ever present CD boom box = to play my favorite classical and smooth jazz - plus untold papers and piles of writing paraphenalia), you would know what a miracle it is that I could find this *one* piece of paper from a Jack Gantos workshop more than 2 years ago! =3D) Here are some things Jack says all students can journal. He says go for the common experiences: brothers, sisters, pets, disasters, chores, parents, teachers, homework, lessons, broken bones, babysitting, sports, nutty neighbors, etc. He suggested brainstorming a list of 50 with the class and then posting them so they have some ideas when it's journal time. Another of his ideas was to draw the neighborhood. Use icons of people, events, animals, etc. Then use it as a jumping point for writing. He wrote a book about his childhood this way, disguised, of course. =3D) He showed us the map, and told us some stories. (Use that tape recorder, suggested in the voice strategies!) Some examples of his map included a spaghetti spot, a bike in the driveway, and Bo-Bo the dog. He told us about the day his next door neighbor jumped off the roof into the pool - and missed. No permanent damage. =3D) Just an expansion on that journal writing idea above. Susan Nixon 2nd grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Ideas Rubric & Examples From: "Shandra Beer" Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 12:44:23 -0700 Catching up on emails. Hope I'm not too far behind. My partners are on vacation, so I'll give it a try on my own. Ideas Rubric: Defining each level Level 1- Not Yet: Purpose/Main Idea is unclear, extremely limited. Level 2-Emerging: Purpose/Main Idea and Support are minimal. Level 3-Developing: Purpose/Main Idea is understandable. Support in limited . Level 4-Competent: Purpose/Main Idea is clear. Support is relevant. Level 5-Experienced: Purpose/Main Idea is clear and interesting. = Support is strong, focused and insightful. Level 6-WOW!: Purpose/Main Idea are exceptionally clear. = Support is rich with details. Ideas Examples: #1- The Day I Shrunk After my first reading I felt confused about the purpose of = the writing. The main idea was there but not developed. Support was jumbled = and included unnecessary info. So I gave it a 3. #2-Lazonya Although it was short I felt that the writer knew what he/she wanted to talk about and stuck to this idea. So, I felt it was clear and focused with limited support. Just looking at the Ideas rubric I want to give it a 4. #3-Green is Good It was clear to me that the writer had many ideas he/she = wanted to express but could not settle on just one or figure a way to put all = into one organized piece. I thought it had a good start but the paragraphs = that followed did not support the original main idea. I would give this a 2 on the verge of a 3 with some reorganizing. #4-Journal Entry I immediately put this piece on the strong side. I decided it wasn't a 6 because at times I felt as though there was some content that did not fit with the purpose/main ideas that was set in the first = paragraph. My interpretation of the main ideas was to describe how the rain was a = gift and to give details of how life comes alive when the rain comes. That content that didn't fit may have been the details of how plants store the water or the factual info regarding how humans store water. Although I = see the connection to the two, I'm just not sure it fits in this writing. Therefore, I decided it was a 4+, almost a 5. The connection that was = made to yourself I felt was appropriate at the end and fit very well with the main idea of how living things became more alive. I could feel a certain rejuventaion on your part and for the plants and animals. So.... here is my question, is it fair to give both example #4 and #2 a rubric score of 4 when clearly they have different writing abilities and potentials? I tried to answer my own question by what Susan and you have shared about this not being a writing grade and we are just looking at it for the one trait. Someone please correct me if I'm wrong. I'm still struggling with the "grade" vs "rubric" ideas even though I've used a rubric report card for = the last 5 years. Shandra Beer 2/3 Temecula, CA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Ideas From: Joan3teach@aol.com Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 16:05:15 EDT I saw this in a writing book I have and it clearly shows development of = ideas. 1. The city has many problems. One problem is the bad transportation. = It's terrible. Another problem is sanitation. 2. The city has many problems. One problem is the subways. The trains = are dirty and unpleasant. The floors are filthy. Another problem is.... 3. The city has many problems. One problem is the subways, which are = dirty and unpleasant. Yesterday on the Flushing local cigarette butts and = crumpled pages of The Daily News lay everywhere. Streaks of black and yellow = paint covered the windows. On the only empty seat in the car sat a paper bag = wet from cola that dripped to a brown puddle on the floor. The writer continues "As students learn to convey observations in the language of sound, color, action, smell, taste and touch, students can = move to a higher and higher level of concreteness. As instruction develops, = they can learn to offer other kinds of detail - statistics, cases... It is only = when beginning writers are convinced that they have something meaningful = to say and they they can develop their sentences through a series of = exploratory stages -- only then do efforts with the conventions of written language = sound a responsive chord among students..." Source: "Basic Writing: First Days' Thoughts on Process and Detail" by Harvey S. Wiener found in Eight Approaches to Teaching Composition. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Journal Writing From: "Debbie šoš" Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 20:08:04 GMT I think that we DO jump around when we are writing in our journals. Our mind moves quickly from thought to thought. Maybe, in school, I need to ask the kids more frequently to revise their journal writings. Or, at least to take one day's ideas and develop it more = thoroughly. I think that I would get more organized thoughts. I hadn't heard of graphic organizers before this summer. I have used story maps in = reading, but now I have a new something for writing. And I was only out on 1 example-and within 1- so I guess that's not too = bad. I start to mark provincial writing tests next week. With this training, I = should be *awesome*, right? LOL Well, maybe not, but my marking should help here....I hope! :) Debbie =BAo=BA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> I agree with those who said that some of the details were mixed up, and there was lack of development of certain ideas. For instance, the eating cactus to survive in the desert. It was not clear why that was in the paragraph, because I didn't mention that many desert animals get their = water the same way. The topic did jump around, probably because my mind was jumping from one topic to another, in it's frenzy of rain euphoria. =3D) Our students do this, too. ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Example #3 From: Molly Godley Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 19:45:45 -0400 >Example #3 Vegetarian > >We thought it was a late 3 and a beginning 4. The main purpose was clear and >focused. The relevant details to backup the writing is present but very >scattered. > > >Anna Liu >Toronto, Ontario > >Molly Godley 5th grade Naples, FL >______________________________________________________ >Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com > > Molly Godley 5th grade Naples, FL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Web site update From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 17 Jul 1999 19:07:02 -0700 The original website url now works: http://6Traits.CyberSpaces.net/ The Voice stragegies are all up. There are 11 pages, and all the links forward and backward work, I think. Be sure to let me know if you find = any mistakes. I still need a few people's last names. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- End of 6Traits Digest