Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 23:10:01 -0700 Subject: 6Traits Digest #25 - 07/14/99 From: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> To: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable Sender: <6Traits@> Precedence: Bulk List-Software: LetterRip Pro 3.0.5 by Fog City Software, Inc. List-Subscribe: List-Digest: List-Unsubscribe: 6Traits Digest #25 - Wednesday, July 14, 1999 Re: Gail Gibbon Books by "Debra Bornowski" ideas #1 by "D. Weissman" Re: 6Traits- Re: Gail Gibbon Books by Idea#2 by "Robin" homework by "Molly Godley" Re: 6Traits- Ideas #2 - 7/12/99 by "Debbie SoS" Question on Ideas by "Nancy Kampfe" Re: 6Traits- voice in non-fiction by Re: 6Traits- Question on Ideas by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> 6Traits- using student examples by Ideas - Example #2 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Ideas - Example #1 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Inserting a light moment by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Nonfiction-voice by "Mary and Greg Gervais" Re: 6Traits- Voice #6 - 7/9/99 by Idea rubric by How to grade a paper by "Amy Schrader" Using student examples by "Amy Schrader" Re: 6Traits- A way to Use student examples by "dennis.ada.swanson" Re: 6Traits- Ideas rubric by "Amy Schrader" General Information by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Ideas - Example #4 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> double messages by "Anna Potter" Re: 6Traits-Ideas -Example #1 and #2 by "Gray" Re: 6Traits- double messages by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Idea rubric by "Gray" Re: 6Traits- Using student examples by "Avis Breding" Re: 6Traits- Ideas - Example #4 by "Barbara D. Martin" Re: 6Traits- General Information by Re: 6Traits- using student examples by "Caryn" Re: 6Traits- Re: Voice and Ideas by "Caryn" Re: 6Traits- Ideas - Example #2 by Re: 6Traits- different rubric by "Irene" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: Gail Gibbon Books From: Debra Bornowski Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 06:49:31 -0500 I've heard so much about Gail Gibbons books. Does anybody know if their = is a website to find these at. Thanks, DebbieB Valerie Dehombreux wrote: > First 2 pages from Gail Gibbons's "Sunken Treasure" > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: ideas #1 From: "D. Weissman" Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 08:04:20 -0400 One of my favorite young adult/teen authors is Will Hobbes. His adventure stories keep my more able readers enthralled . This example comes from River Thunder and describes the power of the Colorado River. I feel as though I am rafting along the river along with the characters: "It became quickly apparent I was rowing against some basic law of physics. Even though I was rowing my guts out, the current had hold of me and, like a slingshot, was shooting me straight into the whitewater in the dogleg corner. We smacked head-on into the waves. They battered us from both sides. The worst ones, big enough to flip us, were recoiling off the cliff wall on our left. I adjusted to face them with the bow, and all the time we were shooting through a succession of mountains and troughs of surging whitewater. We were so far left now, we were only a boat-length or two from the cliff wall." Deb Weissman Gr 6 Jaffrey, NH ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Re: Gail Gibbon Books From: Batnonet@aol.com Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 09:01:08 EDT I looked her up at both Barnes and Noble and Amazon. Barnes and Noble had = many more listed. www.barnesandnoble.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Idea#2 From: Robin Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 09:08:58 -0400 From the Loop by Nicholas Evans He had set out the previous evening, leaving the others in the hight country where even now, in July, there lingered spring flowers and patches of tired snow in gullies shy of the sun. He had headed north along a high ridge then turned east, following one of the winding rocky canyons that funneled the snowmelt down from the divide to the valleys andplains below. He had kept high, shunning the trails, especially those that ran along the water, where sometimes in this season there were humans. Even through the night, wherever it was possible, he had stayed below the timberline, edging the shadows, in a trot so effortless that his paws seemed to bounce without touching the groun. it was as though his journey had some special purpose. Robin/NC/ 6th ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: homework From: Molly Godley Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 09:16:43 -0400 1st half of the writing rubric: We felt the differences were in the level of involvement with 1 lacking, 2 having a little, and 3 being limited. 2nd half of the writing rubric: 4 the voice is present but inconsistent, 5 the voice is appropriate with there even being an academic voice and the topic is starting to come to life, 6 there is a deep commitment to the = topic. Example 1: We felt was a 5/6. We loved it! Example 2: We felt was a 1 because it was merely a list. Example 3: We felt was a level 2 - a little engagement. Example 4: We felt was a 5. Good job. Example 5: We felt was a 3 because it was machanical, very stiff. Example 6: We felt was a 3/4 because of the limited sense of the audience and sense of the reader is unclear. It is somewhat better than #5. Molly Godley 5th grade Naples, FL Anna Liu Toronto, Ontario Molly Godley 5th grade Naples, FL Molly Godley 5th grade Naples, FL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Ideas #2 - 7/12/99 From: "Debbie šoš" Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 13:53:58 GMT My very favourite stories when I was a child reader, were the Anne of = Green Gables stories by Lucy Maud Montgomery. And now my daughters read = them-over and over and over. We even have the first book on tape and many a night I = have gone to bed with the words echoing through the upstairs hall from one = of the girls' room. "Burst into tears she did. Sitting down on a chair by the table, flinging her arms out upon it, and burying her face in them, she proceeded to cry stormily. Marilla and Matthew looked at each other deprecatingly across = the stove. Neither of them knew what to say or do. Finally, Marilla stepped = into the breach." Pick a page, and the ideas are a moving picture in my mind--talkies of course! Debbie =BAo=BA Grade 2 Ontario, Canada ----Original Message Follows---- From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Reply-To: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> To: <6Traits@> Subject: 6Traits- Ideas #2 - 7/12/99 Date: Mon, 12 Jul 1999 11:19:56 -0700 Here are some examples of short student writing which showcase ideas: "Strolling past rows and rows of books, I remember how, after the cancer struck, he came less and less and read fewer and fewer books. They became just part of the scenery, collecting only dust and memories." "When I was five, I dug a hole in the strawberry patch, filled it with = hose water, and lobelia buds. It was my cauldron, and I stirred it with a stick.... Knee-deep in dirt, my feet planted firmly in earth, I was a child-weed creature." "About two years ago I got two fis Alex and Body. Body dosen't eat much but he's steel living.... When I first got them they wher shy and scared then sudenly they wher as playful as a kitten or two." These definitely have voice. They are also clear, focused and developed. They stick with one topic, have details and main ideas that are clear and clearly related. They provide a wholeness of concept. They are original and fresh. Individual Assignment: Find a passage from a favorite author which you think demonstrates the trait of ideas. Share it with the group. Children's authors, children authors, or your favorite free time reading author. mailto:6Traits@ Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Question on Ideas From: Nancy Kampfe Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 08:33:22 -0700 Is the Idea#3 posting in the Digest the only information posted about = Ideas? I'm wondering if there is a rubric discussion, too, that I missed? Nancy Kampfe 11-12 English Martin, SD ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- voice in non-fiction From: NMverde@aol.com Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 12:24:01 EDT In a message dated 7/13/99 8:57:07 PM Mountain Daylight Time, abreding@esosoft.com writes: << I always get permission before I put any students on the overhead.. and putting one of my own on is a great idea... >> YES! This is soooo important! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Question on Ideas From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 10:01:20 -0700 At 08:33 AM 7/14/99 -0700, you wrote: >Is the Idea#3 posting in the Digest the only information posted about = Ideas? >I'm wondering if there is a rubric discussion, too, that I missed? Haven't gotten there, yet. Just coming up. =3D) Did you get Ideas #1 = and Ideas #2? They were more general descriptions of what the trait is. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits- using student examples From: DLM2nd@aol.com Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 13:02:26 EDT I went to a workshop a few years ago, where it was suggested that you = share student examples with another teacher. If you take the names of the student off the example, and don't use it in your classroom, but trade with another teacher to use in her classroom, = then you can use one from her classroom. This way, you can use real student = work (which has its merits when trying to help students of that age write better)...and also not have to worry about embarrassing the student, as = they wouldn't participate in tearing their work apart! Another way would be to = save work to use then next year, after the student writer has already = moved on to another grade level. Dedra (dlm2nd@aol.com) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Ideas - Example #2 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 13:09:38 -0700 For comparison: Lazonya I like lazonya it is a good denner that I ever ate. It has a lot of good spices. If I were to own a resternt my mane mill wood be lazonya. When you put spinig (spinach) in it, it tastes very good. I like the tast of lazonya. Lazonya helps everybody grow! Grade level unknown; source: Kyrene Public Schools. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Ideas - Example #1 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 12:57:37 -0700 This is an example from Joan's 3rd grade class again. (mailto:Joan3teach@aol.com) See where you think it goes on the ideas rubric, and think about why. Ask yourself first, is it weaker than strong? Or stronger than weak? Th= is will help you place it. If you keep thinking in terms of progression, yo= u might think, "This is a 2 becoming a 3." That is okay, too. Stick with the lower level until it is a definite, but it's good to note the progres= s being made. =20 If you are having trouble deciding between two levels, see how much of th= e story fits one level and how much the other. Sometimes it helps to decid= e the level by deciding what improvements a story needs. Susan >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The Day I Shrunk One day my brother started his school science project. His project=20 was to study what would grow in water if it was left out. He thought mol= d=20 would grow, and he wanted to test it. About a week later, in the middle of the night, it was very dark. I=20 was really thirsty. I couldn=92t see, but I grabbed the glass in the bat= hroom=20 and accidentally drank his science project. I walked back to bed, and my= cat=20 slowly laid down beside me. When I woke up in the morning, my cat was squishing me because I was=20 only one inch tall. I had shrunk! I got on top of my cat, pulled her ea= rs,=20 and told her to take me into the kitchen. My dad was yelling, "Jared, it= =92s=20 time for breakfast!" He couldn=92t hear me telling him that I was alrea= dy in=20 the kitchen. He thought I was ignoring him. =20 Just when my dad was stomping into my room, the doorbell ran. It was=20 Ryan asking if I could play. My dad told him that he thought I was out=20 playing with my brother. He said that Ryan could wait in my bedroom beca= use=20 I=92d be back soon. Just then, my brother came looking for me. He was mad because his=20 science project was missing. He wanted to know what I had done with the=20 glass of water. My dad said, "I thought he was with you! I wonder where= he=20 is." My brother and my dad were really worried and so they started looki= ng=20 for me. Ryan ended up staying until 5:00 PM. He was helping my dad and my=20 brother look for me. Ryan walked through the kitchen and saw me on the=20 counter. Ryan ran to tell my brother. My brother said, "We can=92t tell= my=20 dad because he will panic." My brother has really bad ideas. One of his ideas was to put me in a=20 glass of water with a battery in it. I really didn=92t like that idea. =20 So, I told my big brother that when you eat junk food you get fatter. Ma= ybe,=20 eating lots of different junk food all blended together would help me gro= w. =20 My brother put a whole bunch of different kinds of junk food in a cup and= =20 blended it up and made me drink it. It worked. The next morning I was big again. Now when I wake up in=20 the morning, no one can step on me, bugs can=92t eat me, and my cat does = not=20 squish me. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Inserting a light moment From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 13:56:54 -0700 A little comic relief from all that thinking. =3D) http://www.ozyandmillie.com/ Ozy and Millie's new url - check today's cartoon. Rain says it's a = tribute to his mom that he never pierced a body part or shaved his head because this is how is mom would have reacted. Smart mom! =3D) Hmmm. Do cartoons have the 6 Traits? Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Nonfiction-voice From: Mary and Greg Gervais Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 14:31:27 -0700 I just got caught up on all of my e-mails. I think that the following excerpt is an example of non-fiction voice.... taken from "Tornadoes!" by Lorraine Jean Hopping Then it happened. A spinning funnel of wind dropped from the sky. Less than a mile away, it smacked the ground. Hard. The giant funnel was white and almost noiseless. It kicked up clouds of dust, branches, and bits of unknown objects. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice #6 - 7/9/99 From: LStanSachs@aol.com Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 17:41:22 EDT I am sorry but I can not handle all the messages. I must drop out. Thank youall who have contributed. Lori Stan Sachs grades1-3 Columbus, OH ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Idea rubric From: DWsoc@aol.com Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 18:00:08 EDT *6 Traits Writing Assessment Rubric for Ideas* The Weak Side: Level 1 Purpose-lacking Ideas - extremely limited/unclear development - minimal/nonexistant...paper too short to demonstrate development Level 2 Purpose & ideas - somewhat unclear development - minimal details -insufficient/irrelevant Level 3 Purpose - identifiable main ideas - predictable/overly obvious/seem to echo something heard elsewhere supporting details/development -attempted but limited, uneven, off topic, predictable, or overly general details - not grounded in credible resources, based on cliches or steroetypes Difficulty moving from general observations to specific Level 4 Purpose - easily identifiable Main idea - clear supporting details - relevant, may be overly general or limited, resources used to provide accurate support topic - explored and explained, developmental details occasionally out of balance, some connections and insights present content - relevent but not consistantly chosen for audience and purpose Level 5 - Writing characterized by clarity, focus and control Main idea - stands out Supporting details - relevant, carefully selected...resources provide strong, accurate, credible support Topic - balanced explanation/exploration...Makes connections, shares insights Content - well-suited to audience and purpose Level 6 - Exceptionally clear focused and interesting Main Idea - stands out Supporting Details - relevant, carefully selected...resources provide strong, accurate, credible support Topic - thorough, balanced, in-depth explanation/exploration ....Makes connections, shares insights Content - well-suited to audience and purpose Janet David 3 2 NM CO ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: How to grade a paper From: Amy Schrader Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 16:50:59 -0700 (PDT) I know that we have hashed and rehashed that the rubric is not a grade. I understand why and I agree with it. However, is it possible to devise a grading rubric that would include, in part, the trait you were focusing on in instruction during that time. If so, how would you devise it. In other words what kinds of things would you put on the grading rubric? Any thoughts from anyone? Amy 8th Sumter, SC _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Using student examples From: Amy Schrader Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 16:58:31 -0700 (PDT) I would never use student examples on the overhead unless they clearly demonstrated the particular trait I was teaching. Putting anything down on paper at all is a big risk, especially for some of our less proficient students. Some students would be horrified to have their writing put up for others to read at all, even for a good example. We need to be very careful about doing this. I agree that student samples are good, but perhaps we should keep some from year to year and use nonidentified examples from this year's class with next year's class. It is like pulling teeth to get some kids to take the risk involved in writing. I wouldn't want to do anything to jepordize that, even if I saw it as harmless and helpful. Amy 8th Sumter, SC _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- A way to Use student examples From: "dennis.ada.swanson" Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 20:24:08 -0400 I have done the following a little in first grade, and it was very powerful third grade...I'm sure it will work in first if I start doing it regularly...BUT kind of to go along with what Amy said, I would find a piece that a student wrote (and then use something from everyone some time during the week...or it could be a two week period) and use it either at the beginning of the mini-lesson after the mini-lesson or use it AS the mini-lesson. It would definitely be something positive the student had done that I/we had been talking about. It might only be use of a descriptive word...use of an exclamation point, use of a title, use of a capital letter, how to make a list, adding more detail... whatever. It would always be in a positive light, and you could see them beam. They couldn't wait until you used THEIRS to show everyone something. You could even help to manufacture something in a walk around or mini-conference so you could use it...but be careful that the child doesn't see it as such. This is not to show the piece and talk about what was good or bad with the class... I think the idea of exchanging with another class so there could be no way there is a connection to your student is best...or using past example or maufactured examples... Now a good exception might be if you had conferenced with the student and come up with something positive...and could start with their rough draft and tell (or better yet have them tell) how they improved it with voice, idea, or whatever.a Ada "We are all works in progress!" "Where there's will, there's a way!" first grade North Syracuse, New York -----Original Message----- From: Amy Schrader To: SixTraitsMailring <6Traits@> Date: Wednesday, July 14, 1999 7:58 PM Subject: 6Traits- Using student examples >I would never use student examples on the overhead unless they clearly >demonstrated the particular trait I was teaching. Putting anything >down on paper at all is a big risk, especially for some of our less >proficient students. Some students would be horrified to have their >writing put up for others to read at all, even for a good example. We >need to be very careful about doing this. I agree that student samples >are good, but perhaps we should keep some from year to year and use >nonidentified examples from this year's class with next year's class. >It is like pulling teeth to get some kids to take the risk involved in >writing. I wouldn't want to do anything to jepordize that, even if I >saw it as harmless and helpful. > >Amy >8th >Sumter, SC >_________________________________________________________ >Do You Yahoo!? >Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Ideas rubric From: Amy Schrader Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 17:30:44 -0700 (PDT) Level 1: Characterized by: ideas that are extremely limited or unclear, attempts at development nonexistent, too short to develop idea, lack of focus Words that distinguish: Lacks, limited, unclear Level 2: Characterized by: ideas that are somewhat unclear, development attempted but minimal, purpose requires extensive inferences, insufficient, irrelevent, or repetitive details Words that distinguish: somewhat, attempted, minimal Level 3: Characterized by: main ideas understandable but broad or simplistic, results ineffective, supporting details are limited, general, or off-topic, seem to echo observations heard elsewhere, support is attempted but limited, details not well-grounded, difficulties moving from general to specific Words that distinguish: predictable, general, limited Level 4: Characterized by: clear, focused, easily understood main ideas, support is present but rather general, supporting details are relevent but limited in places, topic is explored and explained, developmental details may be out of balance with main ideas, details not consistently well-chosen for audience and purpose Words that distinguish: clear, focused, relevent, limited in places, not consistent, unbalanced Level 5: Characterized by: clear, focused, and interesting, holds the reader's attention, main ideas stand out and developed, balanced explanation/exploration of topic, makes connections, shares insights Words that distinguish: clear, focused, interesting, balanced, suitable Level 6: Characterized by: exceptionally clear, focused and interesting, main ideas stand out, details are rich and suitable to audience and purpose, developed by strong support Words that distinguish: exceptionally clear, strong, rich, thorough, balanced, in-depth, well-suited _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: General Information From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 17:10:55 -0700 Hello, all, I know there are a lot of message on the list at times, but no one has offerred a solution to how we can converse on the list without messages. =3D) If you were taking this class at a university, you'd be sitting in class discussing things for a couple of hours a day and doing assignments at home. If you were doing this as an inservice, it is usually offerred = in 3-5 days of intensive study - after which you need intensive care! =3D) That's how I did it. I have received all kinds of messages personally. Everything from can't = we go faster to can't we go slower. Everything from this is wonderful to I just can't handle all this. I hope that the points below will help you, = if you are having trouble keeping up. Just as in my classroom, I've tried to structure the course so that once you have the basic idea, the rest builds in the same fashion, so you can concentrate on content. Each trait will have three assignments: Find examples of the trait in writing; go over the rubric to find what = separates the levels; come up with some strategies for teaching the trait. The samples are put up for your practice, but are not assignments. They are to spark discussion on the list, (oh no! more messages!) and to give practice in using the rubric and checking yourself against others using = the rubric. It's taking 4-6 hours of my time each day to keep up with the course, work on the website, monitor the list, and answer people's questions. I don't have that kind of time, once school starts. This course ends on a Friday and I start school on the next Tuesday. I can't slow the course down. You will not digest all the material in this six weeks, or in the coming year. You will be continually improving your understanding and updating your abilities. That is one reason the list is going to stay up through the coming school year - so teachers can come to each other for help and consultation, and, hopefully, at least an occasional, "Eureka!" We'll = also be able to offer our student samples to each other to compare scoring, and even to use in our classrooms. It is a lot of information to take in, I agree. I'm still picking up insights just from our discussions (not to mention a long list of books to read!) and I expect that to continue. As you use it in your classroom, = you will absorb more and more of it. The information from the list, saved in = a notebook perhaps, will be of benefit to you when you are back in the classroom. You don't expect your students to learn to read in a few weeks, or to know how to multiply 3 digit numbers when they are learning the multiplication tables. Give *yourself* some time to learn, too. More than just this six weeks. =3D) If you were taking this as a college course, there would be assignments to do, as well. I earned my Masters in a compressed format - each class was done in 3 weekends. I know how hard it is to do a term paper, a mid-term and a final in 5 weeks! I'm not asking that of anyone. I did tell people up front that there would be assignments. I don't think you can learn = this without actually doing it. I hope this will help you put things in perspective a bit. Please feel free to send your ideas and suggestions to me personally, . I am always open to hearing what you think, but I may not be able to do anything about it. =3D) I hope you are able to reach the website Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Ideas - Example #4 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 17:40:57 -0700 In the putting-my-money-where-my-mouth-is department, I am giving you a piece *I* wrote. Where do you think it fits on the ideas rubric? Be *honest*! My self-esteem can handle it. =3D) This is my journal entry = from July 8, 1999. It rained last night. If you don't live in the desert, you don't = understand the joy of rain. Rain is the gift of life, and it comes to the Sonoran Desert twice a year, unlike other,unlucky deserts. Everything in the our desert lies dusty and snoozing until the rains come. The winter rains bring what spring beauty we are to have, the renewal of species, the opening of seeds long dormant. The summer rains bring cool breezes, the water to keep life going until the winter rains. Plants in the desert have tiny leaves or thorns, allowing very little moisture to escape. The root systems spread out in large flows, close to the surface of the desert, to catch every drop of moisture that comes. The succulents store water until their tissues are ready to burst, and then = use it in the dry times until they look more than half dead and dessicated. They survive until the next rainy season. Animals in the desert often get their water from what they eat, other animals, insects or plant life. They learn to adapt and survive without a large, steady water supply. You, too, can chew cactus if you are lost in the desert. They live underground, for the most part, or hole up in the shade of rocks and trees during the worst heat of the day. They survive until the next rainy season. People in the desert save and store water in reservoirs, in dams on = rivers, making lakes for recreation. Many zeroscape, using desert plants to decorate homes, and adding perhaps a drip system to water the roots directly. Those with grass soon learn to water after dark to keep the = water from evaporating on the way to the grass. Like the plants and the animals, we revel in the rain, and come out to celebrate its coming. Last night it rained. The Ocotillo waved its long branches in time to the thunder, and blew right and left in the wind. It wondered whether there would be enough rain to allow it to put out leaves. The many-armed Saguaro stood tall, blooming in the night hours, allowing the rain to enter its dry-tissue reservoirs. Prickly Pear resisted the wind and welcomed the = rain with rounded, flat, thorny leaves reaching out. Greasewood trees dusted themselves off and sent forth their desert-rain scent to tell all the animals that the rains had come. Animals waited in dens and holing-up places, planning their chance to = drink their fill, eat their fill at the night's desert smorgasbord. Every animal shook off the heat of day and reveled in the 25 degree temperature drop. This desert rat watched trees blow around, watched orange dust clouds blow by, preceding the rains, watched lightning split the sky over the darkened mountains in brilliant slices. This desert rat opened all the windows and doors so the breeze would come in, damp and cool. This desert rat got out the candles and oil lamps because the electricity was sure to go, which it did for 3 hours. This desert rat waited for the calm rain after the violent downpour, and then this desert rat walked out in the dark, in the rain, barefoot puddle splashing, soaking up the first rains of the season, letting the drops = dust me off and fill me up, reaffirming that life will go on, is going on. It rained last night. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: double messages From: Anna Potter Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1999 18:12:04 -0500 I subscribe to the digest form and whenever i receive a message that is in MIME or another code I receive it twice. It looks something like this. Subject: ideas #2 From: Herbert Kissell Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 10:13:47 -0500 --------------117863A886D47DA4211A8C0A Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit "Well, sometimes I think she's the smartest one of my seven, even if she is a girl." I thought I was the only one in the room who detected that disguised insult to the whole female gender, but no, there was Woodrow peeping around the side of his glasses at me. He never missed a thing. And it occurred to me that Woodrow would never say antything like that. He did not think of me as "just a girl" any more than I thought of him as a cross-eyed boy. Belle Prater's Boy by Ruth White Dottie Kissell 5/6 Culver, IN --------------117863A886D47DA4211A8C0A Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit "Well, sometimes I think she's the smartest one of my seven, even if she is a girl."
    I thought I was the only one in the room who = detected that disguised insult to the whole female gender, but no, there was = Woodrow peeping around the side of his glasses at me.  He never missed a thing.  And it occurred to me that Woodrow would never say antything like = that.  He did not think of me as "just a girl" any more than I thought of him as a cross-eyed boy.
Belle Prater's Boy  by Ruth White

Dottie Kissell
5/6
Culver, IN --------------117863A886D47DA4211A8C0A-- Can anyone help me clear this problem or is it something I have to live with. While I am sending a message I wanted to share something. A few digests back someone said they announced to the class that their writing was boring. Maybe I misunderstood and it wasn't really said to = the class but something about that just did not sit right with me. It gave me sort of a creepy feeling. I flashed back to my son's fifth grade teacher saying the same thing to his class. She said that she had spent the night reading their stories and they were so boring. I looked around the class and saw the faces of the kids including my own sons. I must admit that they probably were not great works, however, they were what the kids produced after long hours of writing. I have watched my own 1st and 2nd graders write for long periods of time and they are so proud that they have a 6 or 7 page story ( at least that = is what they think they have) I have also seen parents roll their eyes when the child proudly present their story. We, as teachers, need to encourage and guide the writing process and not pass judgement on them. I try to celebrate any writing they do as long as it makes some sense. I find this 6 traits sharing to be very valuable and appreciate all of the entries from each and every one of you hard working teachers. Thank you = so ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits-Ideas -Example #1 and #2 From: "Gray" Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 22:12:12 -0400 We believe Example 1 - "Lazonya" is a Level 2 or Emerging Eample 2 - "The Day I Shrunk" is a Level 3 or Developing becoming a Level = 4 or Competent Roberta Gray Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio rgray7@alltel.net gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.htm Sherri Hurst Gr.2 Geneva, Ohio Jackie Meehan Gr. 2 Geneva, Ohio ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- double messages From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 19:20:12 -0700 At 06:12 PM 7/15/99 -0500, you wrote: >I subscribe to the digest form and whenever i receive a message that is = in >MIME or another code I receive it twice. It looks something like this. There is nothing Mickey or I can do about this. The sender of the message has to turn off styled text in their own e-mail program. Since there are many programs, I can't explain how you do that. Your ISP (service = provider like arizonaone, aol, mindspring, etc.) might be able to tell you, if you use software with which they are acquainted. Or there might be something in the help section of your software. Fortunately, it doesn't happen with every message. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Idea rubric From: "Gray" Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 22:47:24 -0400 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_006C_01BECE4A.D6E6BC20 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Definitive Words Underline words separate levels Level 1 Lacks a central idea or purpose Ideas are extremely limited Development is minimal or non-existent The paper is too short lack of focus Level 2 Main idea and pupose are somewhat unclear May require extensive inferences=3D20 Minimal development of main idea; insufficient details Irrelevant details Extensive repetition of detail Level 3 Reader can understand the main idea Supporting detail is often limited Slightly off topic Easily identifiable purpose and main idea Predictable Support that is attempted Questionable sources of information Difficulties moving from general to specifics Level 4=3D20 The writing is clear and focused. Support is present although it may be limited Easily identifiable purpose Clear main idea Supporting details are relevant A topic that is explored/explained Developmental details may be out of balance Content and selected details that are relevant may not be well-chosen Level 5 The writing is clear, focused and interesting. Main ideas stand out Clarity, focus and control Carefully selected details Content and selected details that are well-suited Level 6 The writing is exceptionally clear, focused and interesting. Clarity, focus and control Main ideas that stand out Carefully selected details A thorough, balanced in-depth explanation/exploration of the topic Well-suited to audience and purpose Roberta Gray Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio rgray7@alltel.net gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.htm Sherri Hurst Gr.2 Geneva, Ohio Jackie Meehan Gr. 2 Geneva, Ohio ------=3D_NextPart_000_006C_01BECE4A.D6E6BC20 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

Definitive Words
Underline words separate levels
Level 1
Lacks a central idea or purpose
Ideas are extremely limited
Development is minimal or =3D non-existent
The paper is too short
lack of focus
 
Level 2
Main idea and pupose are somewhat =3D unclear
May require extensive inferences =3D
Minimal development of main idea; =3D insufficient=3D20 details
Irrelevant details
Extensive repetition of detail
 
Level 3
Reader can understand the main =3D idea
Supporting detail is often =3D limited
Slightly off topic
Easily identifiable purpose and main =3D idea
Predictable
Support that is attempted
Questionable sources of =3D information
Difficulties moving from general to =3D specifics
 
Level 4
The writing is clear and =3D focused.
Support is present although it may be =3D limited
Easily identifiable purpose
Clear main idea
Supporting details are relevant
A topic that is explored/explained
Developmental details may be out of=3D20 balance
Content and selected details that are relevant may = =3D not be=3D20 well-chosen
 
Level 5
The writing is clear, focused and=3D20 interesting.
Main ideas stand out
Clarity, focus and control
Carefully selected details
Content and selected details that are=3D20 well-suited
 
Level 6
The writing is exceptionally clear, focused = =3D and=3D20 interesting.
Clarity, focus and control
Main ideas that stand out
Carefully selected details
A thorough, balanced in-depth=3D20 explanation/exploration of the topic
Well-suited to audience and =3D purpose
 
Roberta Gray
Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio
rgray7@alltel.net
gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov= =3D
http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.h= =3D tm

Sherri Hurst
Gr.2
Geneva, =3D Ohio

Jackie Meehan
Gr. 2
Geneva, =3D Ohio
 
 
 
------=3D_NextPart_000_006C_01BECE4A.D6E6BC20-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Using student examples From: Avis Breding Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 22:05:03 -0500 As I mentioned previously... without permission I never do it.. and I only do it for the trait or traits we are working with. What we do first is to look at all the *great* things this person is doing including the parts of the trait they have done well. We ask the class "What do you see that ****is really doing well? They do well when we discuss the student's work..as I work with my class on being positive not negative all year long. When we are to tell what could make the writing more clear, we phrase it in a posititive statement like, "I liked how **** told about her cat, but I think she could have told us a little more about how she got her cat. or....could you tell us a little more on how your purchased your cat??" I notice Amy your signature says 8th grade.. and I know that that age is a *little* more selfconscious about peers critiquing them.. and that would make a lot of difference in how you do student examples. Some 5th graders I had last year also did not want theirs up.. so we didn't. They were individual conferences. This year looping with them.. it will be interesting to see if and how some ideas change with them. TC Avis -- http://www.bismarck.k12.nd.us/bps/myhre/ 5-6 Grade Looping Teacher http://www.esosoft.com/abreding/ 5-6gradeconnection@esosoft.com *3-4gradelink@esosoft.com Call on God, but row away from the rocks = ********************* ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Ideas - Example #4 From: "Barbara D. Martin" Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 20:13:14 -0700 Susan, I would rate this as a 4, mainly because some of the things written were not clear or in logical order. Ideas jumped from the desert waiting for rain, to factual information about desert plants and animals, to humans using and conserving water, to a specific rain giving human characteristics to plants and animals in the rain, then to you in that rain. Perhaps my criticism is that "content and selected details are relevant, but perhaps not consistently well-chosen for audience and purpose." >Animals in the desert often get their water from what they eat, other animals, insects or plant life. They learn to adapt and survive without a large, steady water supply. You, too, can chew cactus if you are lost in the desert. They live underground, The "you, too" does not belong here. > People in the desert save and store water in reservoirs. . . . > This paragraph is on water usage and doesn't belong here. > Last night it rained. The Ocotillo waved its long branches in time to = the > thunder, and blew right and left in the wind. It wondered whether there > would be enough rain to allow it to put out leaves. > This personification is not consistent with the factual information >This desert rat watched trees blow around, watched orange dust clouds blow by, preceding the rains, I think that the ideas are somewhat muddied by your calling yourself a desert rat after just talking about the real desert plants and animals. If you were in my class I would urge you to choose one thing to write about; the changes rain brings to a desert, how animals and plants adapt to the desert, or your personal experience with the rain that night. Barbara ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- General Information From: AnnMath@aol.com Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 23:30:26 EDT Desertsky, I thought I was the only one around who liked to study = something intensely during the summer, one doesn't talk much about it on my = particular team, particularly if it's anywhere near June! =3D) I have managed to = control my spiraling worry about not getting it all absorbed by having a steno notebook near my laptop. I don't have access to a printer this summer, so = this gives me a ready reference to the comments I found interesting, websites, book and author recommendations. I save only those things I = want to return to and index the steno book by date so I can retrieve relevant emails if I need to. So now I'm relaxed again and gleeful that I have the = opportunity to just "window-shop" if nothing more- in all this wonderful = sea of information. Thanks for the opportunity. You are doing a great job! Ann 5th Middletown, Md. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- using student examples From: Caryn Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 21:58:34 -0600 Dedra--I loved the idea of sharing samples with other teachers! We did similar things within my Masters program, and it was interesting to see what the other Masters students were doing with their kids. = Unfortunately, I don't have ANY samples of 8th grade writing since I did my student teaching at a higher level. I am hoping that those in this workshop will share writing with each other, as I will as soon as I begin receiving it from my students. Susan--Yes, there have been a LOT of messages to wade through, but this is MUCH more helpful than I had ever expected! My new school district is = very big on Six Traits, but I had not been exposed to it before. I moved to = the district just in time to miss the last six traits workshop of the summer, so this has come along at the perfect time! Though it's more fun to do other things during the summer, this is much more rewarding. :) Thanks! Caryn/8/Cedaredge, CO At 13:02 7/14/1999 EDT, you wrote: >I went to a workshop a few years ago, where it was suggested that you = share >student examples with another teacher. >If you take the names of the student off the example, and don't use it in = >your classroom, but trade with another teacher to use in her classroom, = then >you can use one from her classroom. This way, you can use real student = work >(which has its merits when trying to help students of that age write >better)...and also not have to worry about embarrassing the student, as = they >wouldn't participate in tearing their work apart! Another way would be = to >save work to use then next year, after the student writer has already = moved >on to another grade level. > Dedra (dlm2nd@aol.com) > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Re: Voice and Ideas From: Caryn Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 21:58:35 -0600 Joan's "What if" exercise made me think of the scene in Dead Poet's = Society where Robin Williams makes the shy boy make up a poem for the class. = After time and much frustration, the student gets into it enough to show voice. He had to be engaged in the assignment and subject, first. An interesting scene. Caryn/8/Cedaredge, CO At 00:22 7/14/1999 EDT, you wrote: >One additional way to teach voice is to ask the question > >What if? >Opening 1: >I was walking down the street and saw a dog. > >Ask the students to think of some what ifs? > >What if you fell? What if the dog came running at you with bared teeth? = >What if the dog was hurt? What if the dog was the lost animal you were >looking for? > > >Opening 2: Cinderella > >What if Cinderella said, I don't want to marry you? What if the slipper = had >fit the stepsister? What if the father had never married the stepmother? = >What if Cinderella managed to go to the ball without the help of the = fairy >godmother? What if it was the Princess was looking for a husband? > >Asking the questions of the students is a real mind-opener and leads to lots >of possible stories > > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Ideas - Example #2 From: Shellygarc@aol.com Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1999 00:16:35 EDT I think Lazonya is a 2: attempted main ideas, extensive repetition of detail. And I love the spelling!!! Shelley/CA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- different rubric From: Irene Date: Thu, 15 Jul 1999 00:02:11 -0600 Joan3teach@aol.com wrote: > I know this is not a 6 Traits rubric, but I thought this was an = interesting > rubric I received today. > > 4 - Your piece was fun to read. > You planned what you said very well. > You used a lot of good details. > You used some great words. > You remembered to use capital letters and periods all of the > time. > > 3 - You planned what you said. > You used some good details. > Your words are good. > You remembered to use capital letters and periods most of the > time. > > 2 - Your plan needs to be clearer in one or two places. > You used some details, but you need more. > Your words are satisfactory. > You remembered to use capital letters and periods some of the > time. > > 1 - You forgot to plan your story. > You didn't use details, or the details you did use need to be > arranged differently. > Some of your words are confusing. > You didn't remember to use capital letters and periods. > > Lisa :) I saw it also. I find I prefer looking at each trait separately. That = way the writer knows more exactly why they're at a particular level. What level = would a piece be if it had terrific ideas and vocabulary but spelling and = punctuation that made it hard to follow (for the unsophisticated reader this rubric = seems to be written for; we teachers can deciper anything)? I can also see some = pieces that "looked nice" scoring well if they simply had ideas or words that = appealed to the reader but to an adult reader might be cliched or general. As far = as evaluating planning, I do not know that we can evaluate "planning". We = can talk about "organization" but I suspect some "weak" writing may have been = extensively (but unsuccessfully) planned, while some "strong" writing may have been = written beginning to end with a sort of "natural" sense of organization. I guess, = to me, planning fits into the effort department which I think is very = subjective as far as evaluation, whereas, organization is an end result and can be = evaluated objectively.Just my thoughts, Irene 2/3 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- End of 6Traits Digest