Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 23:10:01 -0700 Subject: 6Traits Digest #24 - 07/13/99 From: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> To: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable Sender: <6Traits@> Precedence: Bulk List-Software: LetterRip Pro 3.0.5 by Fog City Software, Inc. List-Subscribe: List-Digest: List-Unsubscribe: 6Traits Digest #24 - Tuesday, July 13, 1999 Re: 6Traits- Example #6 by ideas #2 by "Herbert Kissell" Re: 6Traits- Ideas #2 - 7/12/99 by Ideas Assignment by "Irene" Re: 6Traits- Voice in Non-Fiction by Re: 6Traits- Example #5 by Assignment - Ideas by "Gray" Ideas by "Laura Eble" Re: 6Traits- Examples #5 and #6 by "Debbie SoS" Re: 6Traits- Examples #5 and #6 by "Debbie SoS" Ideas by "Julia Poor" Examples #5 & 6 by "Julia Poor" The Fourth Little Pig, Ideas writing sample, and a question about voice by "Amy Schrader" Re: 6Traits- Examples #5 and #6 and the grocery list philosophy by "Amy Schrader" Example of Ideas by "Valerie Dehombreux" Re: 6Traits- Ideas #1 - 7/12/99 by Re: 6Traits- Ideas #2 - 7/12/99 by Re: Ideas Example by "Cara" Re: 6Traits- voice in non-fiction by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Example #5 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: the grocery list philosophy by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- voice in non-fiction by "Avis Breding" Ideas #3 - 7/13/99 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> different rubric by Re: Voice and Ideas by Re: 6Traits- Example #5 by "Janet Franklin" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #6 From: LAOC51576@aol.com Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 02:36:18 EDT I gave ex. 5 about the Squid a strong 5. It was interesting. Lots of = good information, and the writer was writing to share the information with me = (the reader). The piece held my attention. I gave ex. 6 a strong 4 - didn't find it nearly as interesting - but the information was there. Because I gave the squid a 5 I had to give this = one at least a 4. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: ideas #2 From: Herbert Kissell Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 10:13:47 -0500 --------------117863A886D47DA4211A8C0A Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit "Well, sometimes I think she's the smartest one of my seven, even if she is a girl." I thought I was the only one in the room who detected that disguised insult to the whole female gender, but no, there was Woodrow peeping around the side of his glasses at me. He never missed a thing. And it occurred to me that Woodrow would never say antything like that. He did not think of me as "just a girl" any more than I thought of him as a cross-eyed boy. Belle Prater's Boy by Ruth White Dottie Kissell 5/6 Culver, IN --------------117863A886D47DA4211A8C0A Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit "Well, sometimes I think she's the smartest one of my seven, even if she is a girl."
    I thought I was the only one in the room who = detected that disguised insult to the whole female gender, but no, there was = Woodrow peeping around the side of his glasses at me.  He never missed a = thing.  And it occurred to me that Woodrow would never say antything like = that.  He did not think of me as "just a girl" any more than I thought of him as a cross-eyed boy.
Belle Prater's Boy  by Ruth White

Dottie Kissell
5/6
Culver, IN --------------117863A886D47DA4211A8C0A-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Ideas #2 - 7/12/99 From: MBShelow@aol.com Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 12:09:58 EDT I never got idea #1! I'm confused. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Ideas Assignment From: Irene Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 10:37:39 -0600 --------------526DE622D9428A57CDA5B2B9 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit "For three days Stacey housecleans compulsively, lugging the vacuum cleaner savagely from room to room, washing and ironing curtains, turfing out boxloads of broken toys from the boys' room, straightening her dresser drawers. In the evenings, she goes to bed even before Katie is in bed, and tries to read. She leaves Mac's dinner in the oven for him, and when she hears his key in the door, about ten, she switches off the light on the bedside table. Their bedroom is at the front of the house and he drives in the back lane to the garage so he cannot see the bedroom light as he approaches. Her eyes are closed by the time he comes upstairs and she does not open them. She listens each night to Mac's daytime breathing turning into sleep. She lies stiffly, far to her own side of the bed, not moving in case she wakens him and speech becomes unavoidable. In the mornings they are protected from each other by the presence of the children." from The Fire-Dwellers by Margaret Laurence. Although the passage seems fairly familiar, Margaret Laurence has a talent for making all of her story characters and situations familiar (believable) through her use of language. I didn't search for this passage but simply opened the book and found this on those two pages. I am pretty certain I could find an example of "ideas" on any two pages of her books. There must be "voice" there too, as I now motivated to re-read the book. Irene 2/3 --------------526DE622D9428A57CDA5B2B9 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit "For three days Stacey housecleans compulsively, lugging the vacuum = cleaner savagely from room to room, washing and ironing curtains, turfing out = boxloads of broken toys from the boys' room, straightening her dresser = drawers.  In the evenings, she goes to bed even before Katie is in bed, and tries to read.   She leaves Mac's dinner in the oven for him, and when she hears his key in the door, about ten, she switches off the light on the bedside table.  Their bedroom is at the front of the house and he drives in the back lane to the garage so he cannot see the bedroom = light as he approaches.  Her eyes are closed by the time he comes upstairs and she does not open them.  She listens each night to Mac's daytime breathing turning into sleep.  She lies stiffly, far to her own side of the bed, not moving in case she wakens him and speech becomes = unavoidable.  In the mornings they are protected from each other by the presence of the children."  from The Fire-Dwellers by Margaret Laurence.
Although the passage seems fairly familiar, Margaret Laurence has a talent for making all of her story characters and situations = familiar (believable) through her use of language.  I didn't search for this passage but simply opened the book and found this on those two = pages.  I am pretty certain I could find an example of "ideas" on any two pages of her books.
There must be "voice" there too, as I now motivated to re-read the book.
Irene
2/3 --------------526DE622D9428A57CDA5B2B9-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice in Non-Fiction From: Mrswilcox@aol.com Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 13:03:46 EDT Paula, Your posting reminded me of something I read on AOL Sports about = the World Cup Game...my husband and daughter ( a soccer goddess in her own = right, I might add proudly!) went to the finals in Pasadena, and I watched it on = TV. It was such an exciting game! Then when it was over, I read what was = written in AOL sports about it...the reporter called it a sloppy game (which it = was NOT) and said that the biggest response from the crowd came when they = booed Pres. Clinton on the big-screen TV. My husband said that never happened! = Then HE read an article that said that because the President wanted to meet = with both teams after the game, the reporters had to wait an hour longer or so = for the press conference with the team...and many of the reporters were miffed = about that...voice can certainly slant the news!! Joanie ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #5 From: NMverde@aol.com Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 13:16:15 EDT In a message dated 7/12/99 12:32:48 PM Mountain Daylight Time, mayra@nconnect.net writes: << Rheta, What you say makes sense, and I understand that some nonfiction = narratives have voice. Maybe Jim Arnosky's work? Would I be correct in stating that non-fiction narratives do not need to have voice but they could if the author chooses to add that trait to his/her writing. Or is the trait of voice necessary for a well written piece? Again I wonder . . . -- >> Mayra, Yes I think so. In my opinion, in nonfiction writing there has to be a balance between voice and information. I would also like to bring up = another point. I think it is necessary to know the age of the writer. I = certainly would rate a fist grader less intensively than a fifth grader. When I = took the workshops, the presenters always indicated what the age of the writer = was. Rheta ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Assignment - Ideas From: "Gray" Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 13:11:22 -0400 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_0055_01BECD31.345DB2C0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable This is from Apple Picking Time by Michele Benoit Slawson Mama takes Papa's hands, and he brings her to him, almost in a hug, = =3D but more graceful. Then he twirls her around under the branches. Mama = =3D can spin good even in tennis shoes. Round and round they go. When the = =3D music gets soft, Mama loosens her red scarf and brown curls fall down =3D her back. Without stopping, they reach for ne, and we are three =3D dancing. The music quickens, and Papa carries me so I won't miss steps. = =3D We whirl faster and faster in a circle. As we spin, the trees do too, = =3D and I'm sure they must be dizzy from watching us. Roberta Gray Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio rgray7@alltel.net gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.htm ------=3D_NextPart_000_0055_01BECD31.345DB2C0 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

This is from Apple Picking Time  by =3D Michele Benoit=3D20 Slawson
 
    Mama takes Papa's hands, and he = =3D brings her=3D20 to him, almost in a hug, but more graceful.  Then he twirls her =3D around=3D20 under the branches.  Mama can spin good even in tennis shoes.  = =3D Round=3D20 and round they go.  When the music gets soft, Mama loosens her red = =3D scarf=3D20 and brown curls fall down her back.  Without stopping, they reach =3D for ne,=3D20 and we are three dancing.  The music quickens, and Papa carries me = =3D so I=3D20 won't miss steps.  We whirl faster and faster in a circle.  As = =3D we=3D20 spin, the trees do too, and I'm sure they must be dizzy from watching=3D20 us.
 
 
Roberta Gray
Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio
rgray7@alltel.net
gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov= =3D
http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.h= =3D tm
------=3D_NextPart_000_0055_01BECD31.345DB2C0-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Ideas From: Laura Eble Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 13:18:37 -0500 "It was on the long winter evenings that Father told stories besided the fire in the cottage. He told of banquets, weddings, and pageants of splendor; grat books bound in leather; distant voyages and strange discoveries. All the riches and mysteries of the world displayed in the courts of kings. Then the half-lit cottage might have been a great hall; the shadows that moved with the firelight were lords and ladies dancing to minstel players. When the wonderful stories were ended, Magpie would hug her father and tease him for his fanciful ideas. Turning to her mother, she'd cry,"Imagine such things..." And sometimes, looking at her mother's face, it seemed to Magpie that Mother believed too much. That she took Father's stories to heart." The Thief's Daughter by Alan Marks Laura Eble Grade 1 IL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Examples #5 and #6 From: "Debbie šoš" Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 18:54:34 GMT Well, more to thnk upon with the non-fiction and voice! I look at example #5 (Squid) and see the author's voice in the opening question and in information that relates to known facts: "Humans can't = dive that deep" and "the size of two school buses" Words such as "maneuver" = and "vehicle" add to the story, but are limited, and for the most part is absent. A commitment to the topic was evident. For these reasons, I = would give this example a low LEVEL 4 for VOICE. For example #6 (Ankylosaurus), I found voice lacking. I felt that the information given was mechanical, but clear. I was not drawn to this = example as I was to the Squid. This one, I would give the VOICE a LEVEL 2. Nothing is clearcut, is it? But lots of thinking going on. Thanks, Susan! Debbie =BAo=BA ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Examples #5 and #6 From: "Debbie šoš" Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 18:54:55 GMT Well, more to thnk upon with the non-fiction and voice! I look at example #5 (Squid) and see the author's voice in the opening question and in information that relates to known facts: "Humans can't = dive that deep" and "the size of two school buses" Words such as "maneuver" = and "vehicle" add to the story, but are limited, and for the most part is absent. A commitment to the topic was evident. For these reasons, I = would give this example a low LEVEL 4 for VOICE. For example #6 (Ankylosaurus), I found voice lacking. I felt that the information given was mechanical, but clear. I was not drawn to this = example as I was to the Squid. This one, I would give the VOICE a LEVEL 2. Nothing is clearcut, is it? But lots of thinking going on. Thanks, Susan! Debbie =BAo=BA Grade 2 Ontario, Canada ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Ideas From: "Julia Poor" Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 17:25:28 -0500 I like John Scieszka, and in his book *Squids will be Squids*, he writes: "Fables have been around for thousands of years. And it's no wonder. Because even thousands of years ago people were bright enough to figure out that you could gossip about anybody - as long as you changed their name to something like "Lion" or "Mouse" or "Donkey" first. He goes on to say about his book "These are beastly fables with fresh morals about all kinds of bossy, sneaky, funny, annoying, dim-bulb people. But nobody I know personally. Really." Julia Poor Third Grade Indiana jpoor@tctc.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Examples #5 & 6 From: "Julia Poor" Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 17:29:07 -0500 Squid: The author is definitely aware of the reader. S/he attempts interaction. The information is presented in an interesting way and the writer is committed to the topic. Still, there is not much of a hint about the writer. Does S/he like to study ocean animals? How can I find out more about squid? I think this one is a 4. Anklyosaurus: I think this is a high 2, but not yet a 3. The writer is committed to the topic, but does not show any awareness of the reader. BTW, this is the first time I have ever had an experience like this - being able to share writer evaluations with so many people and getting so much feedback. It's GREAT! Julia Poor Third Grade Indiana jpoor@tctc.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: The Fourth Little Pig, Ideas writing sample, and a question about voice From: Amy Schrader Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 16:46:20 -0700 (PDT) I love the idea of using fairy tales and their perspective spin off versions. I never thought about it before but Susan made the comment that the students don't have to concentrate on the details of the story because they already know the details, then they can really hear the voice of the piece. "The Fourth Little Pig" is a new one I recently bought for my own children. It is about the little pigs' big sister who comes to their brick home where they have continued to hole themselves away from the world, even though the big bad wolf is gone. It tells how she shows them how to venture back out into the world and do great and wonderful things with their lives. I have a question: Does voice encompass mood, style, and theme? Just wondering. What do you all think? Also, my ideas and content example comes from Bret Lott's book "Jewel" which I am currently reading. It is more difficult to find a concise example of ideas and content in a longer work, don't you all think so. HOwever, here is what I came up with: I picked it up, turned it over. It was a picture of a man, the photograph soft and worn, as though it'd been crumpled and rolled flat any number of times. He stood next to a big wingback chair, his elbow resting on top, the other hand on his hip. His chin was hard, the bones in his cheeks high, his skin even darker than my daddy's. His eyes were black, turned from the camera to something far off. He had on a white hat, the crease in the crown perfect, the vest he wore black and white stripes, gray pants. His boots shone in the picture, one foot crossed over the other so that the toe pointed down and rested on the Persian rug beneath him. Even through the wrinkles and fold of the photograph I could feel the attitude he bore, the one that kept the eyes focused somewhere else, the hand at the hip, his head tipped just a hair to the left, as if daring the photographer to tell him to hold it up straight. _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Examples #5 and #6 and the grocery list philosophy From: Amy Schrader Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 16:52:48 -0700 (PDT) Something I've taught my students this past year also helps with voice, though I didn't realize it until we had the examples of the nonfiction pieces. I have told my students to limit the number of times they use the words "is, was and were" in a paragraph to three or less. We talk about the fact that this begins to sound like a grocery list that the writer is simple checking off: "Okay, I've covered that. Check!" And that is boring, boring, boring. We want the reader to keep reading and they will stop if we begin to sound like a grocery list. _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Example of Ideas From: Valerie Dehombreux Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 16:56:34 -0700 (PDT) First 2 pages from Gail Gibbons's "Sunken Treasure" The Atocha: The Sinking It's there! It's really there! The rotting hull of a ship has been found on the ocean floor. Within the wreck lies a fabulous treasure. The story of each underwater treasure hunt is different, but each goes back to the same beginning...the sinking of a ship. The story of the hunt for the "Nuestra Senora de Atocha," a Spanish galleon, begins the same way. It is 1622. The "Atocha," with its fleet of sister ships, makes its way back from South America to Spain. The "Atocha" is a treasure ship, laden with gold, jewels, silver bars, and thousands of coins. The fleet makes a stop in Cuba and then sets off again. As the ships near Florida, a hurricane gathers strength. Valerie Dehombreux Third Grade Whiteriver, AZ _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Ideas #1 - 7/12/99 From: Joan3teach@aol.com Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 20:15:46 EDT Perhaps examples of ideas and content would be the Magic School House = books. These books certainly have voice too :) There is an absolutely hilarious book called Top Secret The Secret = Knowledge of Grown Ups Confidential by David Wisniewski. Grown Up Rule # 31: Eat your Vegetables Official Reason: Thery're good for you The Truth: to keep them under control "Millions of years ago, vegetables ruled the earth. Big bunches of = broccoli stomped through the jungles followed by ferocious carrots and savage packs = of peas. Huge heads of lettuce roamed the grasslands and giant celery = stalked the plains. And what were these terrible vegetables looking for? You guessed it . . . People! Yes, these were meat-eating vegetables. They terrorized the = early humans attacking withou warning. Our ancestors put up with this attack = for centuries, living in drafty caves and getting nasty head colds. But then they discovered sticks ans stones. .. . . The real turning point, however, was the discovery of fire. With it, = hunters could firghten the less intelligent vegetables into ambushes and traps. .. . . To prevent vegetables from ever regaining power, grown-ups eat them. They = don't like the flavor any more than you do, but it keeps the little = horrors feaful and demoralized. It's a simple way to protect modern civilization. Besides, which would you rather do: eat vegetables or be eaten by vegetables?" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Ideas #2 - 7/12/99 From: DWsoc@aol.com Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 20:24:01 EDT From Illusions by Richard Bach: "To this day I can't say what came over me. It was just that doom = feeling, and it drove me out, away from even the strange curious fellow that was Donald Shimoda. If I have to fraternize with doom, even the Messiah = Himself is not powerful enough to make me hang around. David 2nd Denver ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: Ideas Example From: Cara Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 19:29:50 -0600 This is what I chose as an example of Ideas. It's from Horrary for Diffendoofer Day by Dr. Seuss, Jack Prelutsky and Lane Smith: It's miserable in Flobbertown, They dress in just one style. They sing one song, they never dance, They march in single file. They do not have a playground, And they do not have a park. Their lunches have no taste at all, Their dogs are scared to bark. **The illustration, too, really helps contribute to the idea of what this miserable town is like.** To borrow Susan's explanation: This text is clear, focused and developed. It sticks with one topic, has details and a main idea that are clear and clearly related. It provides a wholeness of concept. It is original and fresh. -- Cara 2nd Grade Kansas City, Missouri mailto:nature1@swbell.net ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- voice in non-fiction From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 17:44:37 -0700 >I would either use their writings on the overhead with permission..or = take them individually... and put the rubrics we were using on them, and then they had a choice. They could accept the writing as it was.. or work to improve the writing could you work the second writing in as part of your language grade. Or would you not grade it at all.?? If you use writer's workshop, this could be done before they actually do the final copy. When *they* think it's perfect, then get some class feedback. This will work best if you put up a piece of your own writing for them to critique first - one that definitely has a few needs. Model that risk-taking behavior. =3D) Then I would have no qualms about the = grade on the final copy. If you do this after they have made a final copy, perhaps average the two grades? Although if they've accepted the challenge of improving it, I see no problem with just changing the grade to the better of the two. What do the rest of you think? Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoeinx, AZ Susan Nixon DesertSky Quilting 10445 W. Flower Avondale, AZ 85323-4403 USA Artistic stitching and embellishment to enhance your quilt top mailto:susan@desertskyone.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #5 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 19:07:18 -0700 >would rate a fist grader less intensively than a fifth grader. When I = took >the workshops, the presenters always indicated what the age of the writer was. Our presenters said that the age and grade level should not affect the rubric. There is the K-2 rubric to keep the emerging writers from being stuck on level 1 for ever, but also to help teachers evaluate progress = more thoroughly. We were told that because the rubric is a continuum of = skills, writers at many different ages and grade levels could be on the same = level. Most of the samples we used in our training had no grade level on them. If we think of the rubric as a *skill* evaluation and not a grade or a self-esteem issue, I think this becomes even clearer. If you would prefer to score your students to help you know what to teach them, and not share the scores with them, you certainly have that option. Some people *appear* to believe that because a 1 is emerging, and a 4 is proficient, therefore a 1 is not as good as a 4. I think it is for this reason that some are having a hard time scoring pieces on lower levels. However, this valuation is iaccurate. There is no particular value to being a 1 or a 3 or a 6. The value of the rubric is in evaluating what = you can do as a writer, and what you still need to develop. Or your students, if you don't apply it to your own writing. Please bear in mind also that Voice is only one of 6 traits (actually, there are 7, with presentation recently added) and a child might score low in voice and higher in other areas. In fact, I doubt that many children will score the same level straight across the traits, unless they are emerging kindergarten writers, perhaps. I think that even the young students like to have goals and know specific things they can do to improve. In the past, my students have used rubrics in almost every subject area. They know what they must accomplish in = order to achieve a certain rubric score, and find it helpful in becoming the = best students they can be. This rubric will work the same way in writing. If I have misinterpreted anyone's feelings or thoughts on the rubric in these comments, please accept my apology. In the beginning, I had a difficult time with the idea that a high school student, a 3rd grader, an LD student, and a professional writer could all be judged on the same scale. That was before I truly understood the idea of the continuum of writing. I know there are professional writers who write more interestingly than others. I almost never read biographies published for adults because the majority of them are written so poorly as to be boring. There are occasional wonderful exceptions, and I love to read those. Interestingly, the biographies written for children's use are usually far more appealing than those written for adults! If I were to score professional writers on this voice rubric, I know they would not all receive a 6! =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: the grocery list philosophy From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 19:17:19 -0700 >pieces. I have told my students to limit the number of times they use >the words "is, was and were" in a paragraph to three or less. We talk >about the fact that this begins to sound like a grocery list that the >writer is simple checking off: "Okay, I've covered that. Check!" Super idea! I'm putting that in the strategies I'm collecting from all of you, too. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- voice in non-fiction From: Avis Breding Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 21:59:44 -0500 Even though there is a *lot* of messages to read.. I appreciate the feed back Susan.. and any others. Hadn't thought of averaging the two rubrics for a grade.. but is an interesting thought. I always get permission before I put any students on the overhead.. and putting one of my own on is a great idea... I am getting more out of this, then I thought I would ..;-) As I read the other messages on #5 and #6 the two reports.. I can now see how you can find voice in a report... just takes a little bit more looking. Something to add to the criteria when we do a report this year... Thanks gals and guys! Avis -- http://www.bismarck.k12.nd.us/bps/myhre/ 5-6 Grade Looping Teacher http://www.esosoft.com/abreding/ 5-6gradeconnection@esosoft.com *3-4gradelink@esosoft.com Call on God, but row away from the rocks = ********************* ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Ideas #3 - 7/13/99 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 13 Jul 1999 20:15:19 -0700 This rubric is a *smidgen* shorter (similar to a tad =3D), so I'm putting = it all in one message. Assignment: Please go through this copy, or one you printed from the web site, and underline the words which seem to you to be definitive of each level. Also, circle the words which separate a 2 from a 1 and a 3 from a 2. = Then discuss your observations *within your group*. Each group should post *one* message *to the list*, so choose a reporter, to avoid repetition. *Sign all group names involved in the discussion* to the group message, please. In the group report, please list the terms from the rubric which your group considered to be definitive of each level. Example: Level 1 - "extremely limited" "simply unclear" etc. For those who want a certificate of hours at the completion of the course, I am keeping track of all the postings. You will have to discuss with = your district whether or not they accept it for inservice clock hours. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>= > >>>>>> *6 Traits Writing Assessment Rubric for Ideas* The Weak Side: Level - 1 - Beginning (Not Yet) Writing Looks Like: The writing lacks a central idea or purpose. The writing is characterized by: * ideas that are extremely limited or simply unclear. * attempts at development that are minimal or non-existent; the paper is too short to demonstrate the development of an idea. * lack of focus. Level 2 - Emerging Writing Looks Like: Main ideas and purpose are somewhat unclear or development is attempted = but minimal. The writing is characterized by: * a purpose and main idea(s) that may require extensive inferences by the reader. * minimal development of main idea; insufficient details. * irrelevant details that clutter the text. * extensive repetition of detail. Level 3 - Developing Writing Looks Like: The reader can understand the main ideas, although they may be overly = broad or simplistic, and the results may not be effective. Supporting detail is often limited, insubstantial, overly general, or occasionally slightly off-topic. The writing is characterized by: * an easily identifiable purpose and main idea. * predictable or overly-obvious main ideas or plot; conclusions or main points seem to echo observations heard elsewhere. * support that is attempted, but developmental details that are often limited in scope, uneven, somewhat off-topic, predictable, or overly general. * details that may not be well-grounded in credible resources; they may = be based on cliches, stereotypes or questionable sources of = information. * difficulties when moving from general observations to specifics. Level 4 - Competent Writing Looks Like: The writing is clear and focused. The reader can easily understand the = main ideas. Support is present, although it may be limited or rather general. * an easily identifiable purpose. * clear main idea(s). * supporting details that are relevant, but may be overly general or limited in places; when appropriate, resources are used to provide accurate support. * a topic that is explored/explained, although developmental details may occasionally be out of balance with the main idea(s); some connections = and insights may be present. * content and selected details that are relevant, but perhaps not consistently well-chosen for audience and purpose. Level 5 - Experienced Writing Looks Like: The writing is clear, focused and interesting. It holds the reader's attention. Main ideas stand out and are devleoped by supporting details suitable to audience and purpose. The writing is characterized by: * clarity, focus and control. * main idea(s) that stand out. * supporting, relevant, carefully selected details; when appropriate, use of resources provides strong, accurate, credible support. * a thorough, balanced explanation/exploration of the topic; the writing makes connections and shares insights. * content and selected details that are well-suited to audience and = purpose. Level 6 - WOW! Writing Looks Like: The writing is exceptionally clear, focused and interesting. It holds the reader's attention. Main ideas stand out and are devleoped by strong support and rich details suitable to audience and purpose. The writing is characterized by: * clarity, focus and control. * main idea(s) that stand out. * supporting, relevant, carefully selected details; when appropriate, use of resources provides strong, accurate, credible support. * a thorough, balanced in-depth explanation/exploration of the topic; the writing makes connections and shares insights. * content and selected details that are well-suited to audience and = purpose. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: different rubric From: Joan3teach@aol.com Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 00:08:53 EDT I know this is not a 6 Traits rubric, but I thought this was an = interesting rubric I received today. Subj: Re: Writing Rubric Date: 7/13/99 10:13:29 AM Pacific Daylight Time From: LUXE52A@prodigy.com (MR STEVEN M STRAUBINGER) Sender: owner-third_grade@lists.teachers.net To: third_grade@lists.teachers.net This is a basic rubric my reading specialist shared with us. I use this to introduce the children to grading with a rubric. Then grade their own paper or a classmates(without knowing the name) and I also use it to give their first writing grade. Then we look at what needs it met and how we need to change it to meet our writing. It evolves throughout the year. 4 - Your piece was fun to read. You planned what you said very well. You used a lot of good details. You used some great words. You remembered to use capital letters and periods all of the time. 3 - You planned what you said. You used some good details. Your words are good. You remembered to use capital letters and periods most of the time. 2 - Your plan needs to be clearer in one or two places. You used some details, but you need more. Your words are satisfactory. You remembered to use capital letters and periods some of the time. 1 - You forgot to plan your story. You didn't use details, or the details you did use need to be arranged differently. Some of your words are confusing. You didn't remember to use capital letters and periods. Lisa :) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: Voice and Ideas From: Joan3teach@aol.com Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 00:22:04 EDT One additional way to teach voice is to ask the question What if? Opening 1: I was walking down the street and saw a dog. Ask the students to think of some what ifs? What if you fell? What if the dog came running at you with bared teeth? = What if the dog was hurt? What if the dog was the lost animal you were looking for? Opening 2: Cinderella What if Cinderella said, I don't want to marry you? What if the slipper = had fit the stepsister? What if the father had never married the stepmother? = What if Cinderella managed to go to the ball without the help of the fairy = godmother? What if it was the Princess was looking for a husband? Asking the questions of the students is a real mind-opener and leads to = lots of possible stories ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #5 From: Janet Franklin Date: Wed, 14 Jul 1999 00:04:25 -0600 I have read all the responses with great interest and wow what a range of scores for both #5 and #6. I try to apply the rubrics objectively...and if so both of these pieces would score low. Still, if voice is to draw the reader into the writing and establish a connection between the author and audience then I definitely was drawn and connected to the Squid piece. The point has been made before about the connection being influenced by the audiences interest in the topic and in this case that may be partially true but I am also interested in dinosaurs and was not as drawn to that piece. I would probably score them a 4 and a 3 respectively. (I think) There has also been much discussion about the differences in fiction and non-fiction writing and voice and I think we must consider the purpose of the writing. Fiction is meant to entertain and while non-fiction can be entertaining, it is usually meant to inform. Therefore while voice is still present, it won't be as strong or obvious. (Am I just talking in circles?) I must comment that in comparison to my students writing...I may still score them the same but they are both out of my third graders (all LEP) league. Janet third Church Rock, NM ---------------------------------------------------------------------- End of 6Traits Digest