Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 23:10:01 -0700 Subject: 6Traits Digest #21 - 07/10/99 From: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> To: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable Sender: <6Traits@> Precedence: Bulk List-Software: LetterRip Pro 3.0.5 by Fog City Software, Inc. List-Subscribe: List-Digest: List-Unsubscribe: 6Traits Digest #21 - Saturday, July 10, 1999 Re: 6Traits- Website is up! by "Bess Wilson" Re: 6Traits- Website is up! by "Shirley Holloway" Re: 6Traits- Website is up! by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> bouncing messages by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> How long is course by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> So That's What Geometry is All About! by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> K-2 rubric by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Voice #6 - 7/9/99 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> FW: voice #5 by "Shandra Beer" A last word about Voice by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> voice--non-fiction by Dropping Out by A belated voice by "Jan & Forrest Keefer" Re: 6Traits- Website is up! by Re: 6Traits- assignment 5 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> 6Traits Assignment- Voice #4 & #5 by "Valerie Dehombreux" Re: 6Traits- Voice #6 - 7/9/99 by "Debbie SoS" Re: 6Traits- Website is up! by Re: 6Traits- Website is up! by #1 Homework assignment by "Julia Poor" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Julia Poor" Re: 6Traits- Website is up! by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Voice #6 - 7/9/99 by "Shirley Holloway" Re: 6Traits- Website is up! by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Example #1 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> 6 Traits-dropping out by "Erin Wallerich" unsubscribing to the list by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> 6traits by "Terri Schultz" Re: Science by Re: 6Traits- Example #1 by Example #2 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Example #1 by Re: 6Traits- Example #2 by Re: 6Traits- Example #2 by "Avis Breding" Example #4 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Example #3 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Example #1 by "Avis Breding" Re: 6Traits- Example #2 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Example #2 by "Sandra Doughman" Re: 6Traits- Example #4 by "Kathy Renfrew" Re: 6Traits- Example #3 by "Sandra Doughman" Re: 6Traits- Example #2 by "dennis.ada.swanson" Re: 6Traits- Example #1 by "Mayra" Re: 6Traits- Example #1 by "Mayra" Re: 6Traits- Example #2 by "Mayra" Re: 6Traits- Example #3 by ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Website is up! From: "Bess Wilson" Date: Fri, 9 Jul 1999 09:00:46 -0400 Susan, The site looks great. Since I involved in getting out school's site = up and running I know how much work goes into getting a site on line. Well done! Have a quick question about length of our online course. I'm trying = to plan around trip dates, etc. How long do you envision the course will = take to complete? From what I've seen, I have a feeling that one is never 'finished' with learning how to implement 6Traits. This discussion of voice has been very instructive. it's given me = some insight into why some of my writing is more effective than other pieces of writing. At times I've struggled with the question of formal/informal style, but hadn't realized that is considered part of voice. There's certainly alot of 'food for thought'. :-) PS- Finally realized how to get this email program (Outlook Express) to always put my signature at the bottom of outgoing emails. Of course, it = was simple, once I figured it out-! Bess Wilson Grade 6 Eldredge School 101 First Avenue East Greenwich,RI 02818 401-886-3246 lawsonb@ride.ri.net ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Website is up! From: "Shirley Holloway" Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 08:57:26 -0500 Did you post all the ruberics yet? I am assuming you are waiting = untilThese are introduced in course. Glad to see a ruberic for second grade. I = wasn't sure i could use the other ruberic for seoond grade. Shirley Holloway/2nd/IN ---------- >From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> >To: <6Traits@> >Subject: 6Traits- Website is up! >Date: Thu, Jul 8, 1999, 9:51 PM > >Okay, check out our website - let me know if there's anything strange = about >it. It's probably best viewed in Netscape, as that's the program in = which >I did everything. > >Thanks to Mickey for answering about 542 questions. > >http://6Traits.CyberSpaces.net > >Susan Nixon >2nd Grade >Phoenix, AZ > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Website is up! From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 08:47:53 -0700 >Looks neat.. and the only strange thing is so far there is the standard >rubric.. and then the K-2. But I suppose K-2 being much younger should >have their own. K-2 *can* use the regular rubric, but there is the additional one for only K-2. When students are in the 5-6 range on this simplified rubric, they can slide over, probably to a 3 on the main rubric. Each child would have to be evaluated individually, as always. =3D) >I like the children across the top of the page!! Thanks for the input. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: bouncing messages From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 08:50:57 -0700 : : : User is over the quota. You can try again later. These three yahoo addresses keep bouncing, though others are going through with no trouble - maybe these are on vacation and not checking mail. =3D) If you go for longer than a few days, you might want to switch to the digest format to keep your box from overflowing. The addresses are in = blue at the top of each list message. Some e-mail programs do not show the = full header, so here they are for those of you who don't get them on each message. Save this. =3D) List-Subscribe: List-Digest: List-Unsubscribe: Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: How long is course From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 08:58:15 -0700 > The site looks great. Since I involved in getting out school's site = up >and running I know how much work goes into getting a site on line. Well >done! Thanks! It went pretty smoothly, thanks to Mickey's constant and = immediate response to my zillion questions. We had a thunder storm that took out power for 3 hours on Wednesday night, or it would have been up sooner. I've learned how to ftp! For those of you who don't do sites, that's a milestone for this make-it-easy-on-yourself geocities user! =3D) >plan around trip dates, etc. How long do you envision the course will = take >to complete? From what I've seen, I have a feeling that one is never >'finished' with learning how to implement 6Traits. How true! I think, from this week's experience, that it will take a week for each trait. They will get easier because there is some repetition in the rubrics. This week has been quite a learning experience! =3D) > This discussion of voice has been very instructive. it's given me = some >insight into why some of my writing is more effective than other pieces = of >writing. Perfect! This is one of the things that makes it possible for us to teach it to the students. When we understand how it relates to us and to our writing, it is *much* easier to help students understand how it relates to them and their writing! >PS- Finally realized how to get this email program (Outlook Express) to >always put my signature at the bottom of outgoing emails. Congratulations! I always tell my students that everything is easy, once you know how to do it. It's the knowing how to do it that is hard. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: So That's What Geometry is All About! From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 08:59:07 -0700 A friend sent me this from a friend of hers this morning. We're all quilters. I thought you would get a smile out of it, at least. It isn't about writing, but it could be. =3D) Susan >>>>>>>>>>>>>> One day a woman came into my store (quilt shop I used to own) and said she had watched a quilting show on TV that morning, and please, did I have a "number 60 triangle"? "Would that be a 60 DEGREE triangle?" I asked. "Ummmmm"--long thoughtful pause---"maybe..." On a hunch I asked if she was wanting to make 6-pointed stars. "Yes!" she cried, grateful that we were on the same page. Then she asked why I had called it a 60 DEGREE triangle. I proceeded to explain how a circle has 360 degrees, etc, etc,--expecting her, at any moment, to "aha" and know what I was talking about. Nope. It was all totally news to her. I drew diagrams, I divided circles, I made 6-pointed stars and 8-pointed stars. It was an inspired lesson, if I do say so myself. I folded paper and cut angles and sold her a bunch of cool rulers and triangles and she was a happy quilter. Finally she said, "How does a = person know all this stuff?" "Learned it in 8th grade geometry" I said. Finally a faint light of recognition glimmered, "So that's what geometry was all about." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: K-2 rubric From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 09:05:07 -0700 At 08:57 AM 7/9/99 -0500, you wrote: >Did you post all the ruberics yet? I am assuming you are waiting until = These >are introduced in course. Glad to see a ruberic for second grade. I = wasn't >sure i could use the other ruberic for seoond grade. Each rubric will be up on the website as we do the trait. You are not alone. Many teachers feel this way. That's probably why the second rubric came out. Let me re-emphasize that the main rubric *can* be used for all grade levels. The reason there is a 2nd rubric is that beginning and emerging writers have a lot to learn before they really begin to progress on the main rubric. The younger rubric assesess their movement within the early writing stages. It gives a better idea of their progress. It makes your job of evaluating easier. Remember a rubric is a method of evaluating a child's progress along a continuum. It is not a grade. A student could be making excellent = writing grades and still be on level 1. The rubric is to help you help students move along and gain skills. This is where the younger rubric is very = helpful. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice #6 - 7/9/99 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 09:22:38 -0700 Hello, writing facilitators! Last assignment for the week is to come up with some strategies for teaching the trait of voice. Send these strategies to me personally. mailto:susan@desertskyone.com I will compile them and post them to = the list and to the website. To get you started, here are some things that my fellow trainers and I thought might help. 1. Students will describe the emotions of characters in a story and explain how they knew that was the emotion. Back up their choices with examples from the text. 2. Students will roll play characters from stories or from historical = events. 3. Students will guess the author of a story or poem being read, or the main character, such as Arthur in the Marc Brown books or one of the Magic School Bus characters. 4. Students will try to write like a particular author (at the end of an author study). 5. Students will retell stories from different points of view. Here's a poem that students might write to define their own voices. I am ....(two special characteristics you have) I wonder....(something about which you are actually curious) I hear....(an imaginary sound) I see....(an imaginary sight) I want....(an actual desire) I am...(first line of poem repeated) I pretend....(something you actually pretend to do) I feel....(a felling about something imaginary) I touch....(an imaginary touch) I worry....(something that really bothers you) I cry....(something that makes you very sad) I am....(the first line of the poem repeated) I understand....(something you know is true) I say....(something you believe in) I dream....(something you actually dream about) I try....(something you really make an effort to do) I hope....(something you actually hope) I am....(the first line of the poem repeated) You might try writing this at the beginning of the year about yourself and reading it to the students to help them get to know *your* voice. Then they could share with you and their classmates. Don't tell me. I know that the older boys will have trouble with I cry...! Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: FW: voice #5 From: "Shandra Beer" Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 09:19:06 -0700 > THIS MESSAGE IS IN MIME FORMAT. Since your mail reader does not = understand this format, some or all of this message may not be legible. --MS_Mac_OE_3014356746_154508_MIME_Part Content-type: text/plain; charset=3D"US-ASCII" Content-transfer-encoding: 7bit here's goes on #5 Level 4: words that define: commitment to topic "maybe" sense of writing to read Level 5: committed to topic sense of writing to read appropriate voice for topic Strong sense of audience original Level 6: deeply committed exceptional sense of writing to read effective Words that separate 4 -- "questionable or inconsistent level of closeness/distance" Words that separate 5 -- "strong sense of audience" Words that separate 6 -- "exceptionally strong/effective sense of audience Kathy Bader 3rd grade Apex, NC Shandra Beer 2/3 Temecula, CA =3D=3D=3D _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com --MS_Mac_OE_3014356746_154508_MIME_Part Content-type: text/html; charset=3D"US-ASCII" Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable FW: voice #5


 here's goes on #5

Level 4: words that define:
     commitment to topic
     "maybe" sense of writing to = read
Level 5:
     committed to topic
     sense of writing to read
     appropriate voice for topic
     Strong sense of audience
     original
    
Level 6:
     deeply committed
     exceptional sense of writing to read
     effective
    

Words that separate 4  -- "questionable or
inconsistent level of closeness/distance"

Words that separate 5  -- "strong sense of audience"

Words that separate 6  -- "exceptionally strong/effective = sense of audience




Kathy Bader
3rd grade
Apex, NC

Shandra Beer
2/3
Temecula, CA


=3D3D=3D3D=3D3D

_________________________________________________________
Do You Yahoo!?
Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yaho<=3D U>o.com



--MS_Mac_OE_3014356746_154508_MIME_Part-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: A last word about Voice From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 09:25:36 -0700 From the Northwest Regional Educational Laboratory, used with permission: Voice - Where's the Link to Instruction? *Creating a nurturing environment *Building self-concept *Encouraging self-expression *Valuing diversity *Recognizing/encouraging individuality *Rewarding risk *Rewarding experimentation *Hearing the voices of others *Defining your own voice ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: voice--non-fiction From: AnnMath@aol.com Date: Fri, 9 Jul 1999 12:32:22 EDT Good morning, This jumped out at me from the Washington Post this morning as a "compelling", voice filled piece. Never expected to see it so blaringly = in non-fiction. Pardon flashback to our first assignment. "Maurice Jr is a little hyper; Maurice is a little agitated. He's rustling behind you, the insistent thump-thump-thump of his head against = the glass, and you try to forget about him. But Maurice is hard to ignore. He is a two-foot-long, sandy brown Australian bearded dragon, and he's in this big glass tank directly behind = your head. His eyes don't blink and he's got this New York edge thing = going. His owner is another piece of work. He's drinking coffee black, vibrating with possibilities in his SoHo loft, talking programming = people's lives and leaving a cultural testament for the age of computer = consciousness. A bit chunky, he's wearing loose-fit jeans and phosphorescent green = running shoes, chomping a Monte Christo No 4 stogie. He's Josh Harris, the 34-year old president and founder of Pseudo Programs. Net worth: $60 million. Harris made millions from his last big Web thing, and he exudes the sweet phat (sic) smell of success that has every 18th person in Manhattan conjuring stock-fueled dreams now. And if Pseudo's Internet TV turns out = to be the next hot pick on Wall Street's wheel of fortune... Then Harris--known to friends as Lovvy the performance artist--and every nostril pierced, hip-hop poet, actor, astrologer, cross-dresser and techie in Pseudo's loft building on the corner of Broadway and Houston = Street stand to become richer than God." Couldn't stop reading as this reporter drilled to the heart of the entrepreneurs of the "Second Guilded Age", both because of the "voice" and = the content of his writing. It got better. (I won't go on at such great length in the future;-) Ann 5 Frederick, MD ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Dropping Out From: Annegel789@aol.com Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 11:15:43 EDT Please remove me from the mailring, I am teaching summer school and there = is no way I can keep on top of the mail. Sorry Anne Harrison ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: A belated voice From: Jan & Forrest Keefer Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 10:45:22 -0500 Beverly Cleary is an author who I feel has mastered this trait. Her books hold her audiences, both young and old. The excerpt I've chosen is from Ramona Forever. Her mother was having contractions and her parents just left for the hospital... Minutes crawled by. The long Oregon dusk turned into night. The girls turned on the T.V. to a program about people in a hospital, running, shouting, giving orders. Quickly they turned it off. "I hope Aunt Bea and Uncle Hobart are all right," said Ramona. The girls longed for their loving aunt, who was cheerful in times of trouble and who was always there when the family needed her. Now she was in a truck, riding along the Canadian Highway to Alaska. Ramona thought about bears, mean bears. She wondered if the 2 pairs of white shoes still danced from the bumper of the truck. The ring of the telephone made Ramona feel as if arrows of electricity had shot through her stomach as Beezus ran to answer. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Website is up! From: Joan3teach@aol.com Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 02:53:42 EDT Susan, when I tried to get on the website, I couldn't connect. It said it = was timed out, overloaded, or unconnected. Try later. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- assignment 5 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Fri, 09 Jul 1999 17:22:30 -0700 Dale, you did just what I did on my copy of the rubrics - you underlined the important differences. It really helps me to see what the differences are. Thanks for sending it that way. Good example Susan ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits Assignment- Voice #4 & #5 From: Valerie Dehombreux Date: Fri, 9 Jul 1999 20:29:09 -0700 (PDT) Assignment from: Sherry Green, 4th grade, Gilbert, Arizona Valerie Dehombreux, 3rd grade, Whiteriver, Arizona Level 1: lacks a sense of involvement; no engagement or commitment; flat and lifeless; does not involve or engage the reader Level 2: little sense of involvement; mostly flat, lifeless, stiff,mechanical; overly informal; little interaction between reader and writer Level 3: inconsistent topic commitment; author's voice fades in and out; stiff; inappropriately personal or impersonal voice Level 4: more consistent; commitment to topic; awareness of audience; lively, sincere; still too informal or formal at inappropriate times; some expressiveness, sincerity, liveliness, or humor Level 5: appropriate voice; expressive, engaging, sincere writing; strong sense of audience; appropriately honest, lively, humorous, or suspenseful Level 6: same as Level 5, but stronger; exceptional Transition of Levels: Level 1 to 2: "Lack of" to "Little of" Level 2 to 3: "Little of" to "Limited or occasional" Level 3 to 4: "Limited" to "Inconsistent" Level 4 to 5: "Inconsistent" to "Present and more consistent" Level 5 to 6: "More consistent" to "Consistent, strong, and exceptional" _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice #6 - 7/9/99 From: "Debbie šoš" Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 01:16:51 GMT Here are a couple that I gleaned from a 4-blocks PD course this week, = Susan: 1. Ask students to complete a thought or opinions on the same topic (like the best thing about grade 2 is....) and then guess who wrote each answer. 2. After reading a book, ask the children what kind of person that they think the author is. What might s/he like to do in spare time? 3. Take a simple sentence and discuss what you could do to it to make it YOURS. eg. I have a pet. 4. Check out greeting cards to hear the voice of the authors. 5. Read books written by two different authors (eg. Dr. Suess and Robert Munsch) to compare the differences in voice, and how each author has = his/her own distinct voice/style. Love the idea of the poem...thanks! I want to incorporate more poetry writing throughout the year-not just in the spring ;) Debbie =BAo=BA Grade 2 Ontario, Canada ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Website is up! From: LStanSachs@aol.com Date: Fri, 9 Jul 1999 20:06:17 EDT I tried this site and it came up unknown. Help. Lori, Columbus ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Website is up! From: Joan3teach@aol.com Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 14:05:48 EDT I agree with you. I can't get through to the website either. This = morning, I have received "connection untimed", whatever that means! Joan Matuga ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: #1 Homework assignment From: "Julia Poor" Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 09:23:30 -0500 Homework Assignment #1 1. Neither the writer nor the reader is engaged by the writing because it is flat and lifeless. Writing lacks a sense of involvement and commitment. 2. Writing is stiff, flat, and mechanical. Some improvement over "1" but still shows little engagement with the writer and reading. Writer seems to lack purpose because of lack of audience awareness. There is rarely a sense of interaction. Question from Joan: if writing is overly informal and personal, how can it show little or no hint of the writer"? 3. An improvement over "2" voice is developing but not clear at all times . There may be a feeling of he writer but it is a stiff voice. The "sense of commitment to topic inconsistent, somewhat mechanical, "occasional sense of writer behind the words" 4. Competent: writer realizes that writing is meant to be read and is somewhat aware of the reader but hasn't consistently employed an appropriate voice. Writer doesn't want audience to know him/her will. Writer does not consistently emply an appropriate voice. 5. Writer seems committed to the topic and shows a strong sense of audience and realizes that writing is to be read and communicates the message most effectively. Reader may interact with writer. Writing might show originality.... 6. Writer shows an appropriate voice and an exceptionally strong sense of audience. Writing comes to life. Joan Matuga Grade Three California Julia Poor Grade Three Indiana ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: "Julia Poor" Date: Fri, 9 Jul 1999 22:05:33 -0500 I just got home last night from a short vacation and was I ever swamped with the e-mails! I think that the characters in the book *Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone*, by J.K. Rowling show lots of voice. I finished the book and took it back to the library. I'm hoping the next one will be in when I go Monday. Julia Poor Grade Three Williamsport, Indiana ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Website is up! From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 11:05:25 -0700 At 02:53 AM 7/10/99 EDT, you wrote: >Susan, when I tried to get on the website, I couldn't connect. It said = it >was timed out, overloaded, or unconnected. Try later. Remember Mickey's message about changing servers? I am sure that is the problem, as it was working perfectly on Thursday night. Keep checking. = It will probably be working by Monday night, if not sooner. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice #6 - 7/9/99 From: "Shirley Holloway" Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 13:53:14 -0500 Since it is quite obvious to me that I never thought of this as something = to teach second graders. I have been thingking about a few ways I might implement this concept to second graders or young writers in general. First, I would share all kinds of examples. I would model for them. Last year i complained to everyone who'd listen how boring their stories All about me were. So, I will probably model this for them one of the first days. I then might publish it for parents so they learn about me. I will include a lot of "Voice" . Share some strong opinions, like boy are you children lucky to have such a good teacher. I have also noticed that the children seem to come alive when we write about pet peeves. I remember = that I got a lot of fairly strong paragraphs last year. I will be very anxious to hear more from all of you. I will be gone next week for a week long class in St. Louis. So, Susan my next assignment = misht be a little late. I seemed to have lost my group completely. I think = they misht be on vacation. Shirley Holloway/2nd/IN ---------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Website is up! From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 12:29:09 -0700 >Remember Mickey's message about changing servers? I am sure that is the >problem, as it was working perfectly on Thursday night. Keep checking. = It >will probably be working by Monday night, if not sooner. Sorry. Mickey didn't subscribe himself to this list like he does to Edlist, so when I redirected his message, it bounced, but not to me, to him. Therefore I didn't notice his messages hadn't made it to the list. Mickey is changing backbone servers this weekend and it looks like the listserv for mail is changed over, but the website is still down. It will be straightened out by Monday, according to his backbone server. Susan, who is learning more than I ever wanted to know about domains and servers! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Example #1 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 14:13:56 -0700 Try evaluating this with the voice rubric: Texas trivia of the Day. You know your every day average SHOPPING CART? They call them BUGGIES here! The man at walmart first asked me if I = wanted a buggy, and I just kind of looked at him questionably. In Idaho they are sometimes called carts, sometimes called trolleys..... but I have never heard it called a BUGGY before ..... However....Cart, Buggy or Trolley..... I hate them! I always end up with one that has one square wheel or something. Or only wants to turn left.....when you dont want it to turn at all! And then there are those with the incessant squeaking noise.....like fingernails down a chalk board...*eeeeeeeeeeeekkk* and everyone looks at you as you primly push by (with one square wheel)....wondering why you cant shut that thing up! As = if it is YOUR fault it is that way??? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6 Traits-dropping out From: Erin Wallerich Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 17:18:52 -0500 Please unsubscribe me from this course. I can't keep up with the mail. = Sorry Jan Wallerich ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: unsubscribing to the list From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 15:53:06 -0700 *Please* don't send unsubscribe messages to the whole list. If you can't do it at: List-Unsubscribe: please e-mail me privately. mailto:susan@desertskyone.com Thank you very much for remembering this. Susan ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6traits From: "Terri Schultz" Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 18:49:56 EDT I need to unsubscribe. I am also having a hard time keeping up with the mail. _______________________________________________________________ Get Free Email and Do More On The Web. Visit http://www.msn.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: Science From: AnnMath@aol.com Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 18:57:45 EDT I ditto the cmments on AIMS units. Singularl.y the best I haave ever used = in 23 years of teaching. Topical , relevnt to the math and science = standards, tons of fun. Ann 5 Frederick, Md (sorry I have a bandade on a figer,thus the errors.) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #1 From: AnnMath@aol.com Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 19:02:03 EDT Right on target, desert sky, it's whatever grabs you in the gut! I am sometimes a bit cautious in calling it voice, as I am so enamoured of vocabulary choice, but I think I am equally sucked in by voice. Thanks Have a nice day, it is below 90 in DC today!!=3D) Ann 5th Frederick (actually Middletown) Md ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Example #2 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 16:03:18 -0700 Try rating this one on the rubric. I will give the levels later, = according to the source of these pieces. If you are within 1 level either way, you are doing okay. Susan >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> My Lego Collection I have a big lego collection, so you probably know I like legos. There are four systems in legos; town, pirate, space and castle. In the town system I have, the airport, coastal rescue base, motor speedway, the = police station, three houses, two sailboats, five motorboats, three helecopters, two jets, and about twenty four people. In pirates I have eleven sets, in space I have five sets, and in castle I have seven sets. I have a friend Nathan and he has a lot of legos too. Sometimes Nathan and I we put some of our legos together and we have lots of fun. But I hate it when my brother plays with them without me, because all he does is messes them up to peices. But it's okay when he plays with me. The End Source: Student papers from Kyrene District, Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #1 From: Tcher0619@aol.com Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 19:28:37 EDT I would look in the 5-6 range. The writer has a strong sense of audience. = She has generated a piece which is not only original, but also very = humorous. I, as the reader, can sense that humor. I immediately had a flash back to = an experience I had had. So, why may you ask, didn't I just say a 6 straight out? Being that we = are using a rubric, I want to have a set of papers to compare it to. The fine line between 5 and 6 is hard to define unless you are comparing 2 very = good papers. Dot P. Mass. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #2 From: AnnMath@aol.com Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 19:49:54 EDT Paragraph 2 is a 3 because he allows some feelings which suck you in; paragraph 1 is a 1 or 2 (because he wants somebody to know he has a vast collection, but is basically into listing--as if he were talking to his collectin instead of you Ann 5th Middletown, MD (I've given up the frederick) ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #2 From: Avis Breding Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 20:21:09 -0500 I guess I would put this example maybe on a 3 in the developing stage. I read a lot about what he has created.. but not a lot about himself except he doesn't like it when his brother plays with them.. but it is ok if he is there. He also likes to play with his friend...but doesn't tell why... If he had talked about how proud or happy he was with his creations or long it took, or maybe how tired or patience he had been... probably might have gone higher. JMHO!! Avis -- http://www.bismarck.k12.nd.us/bps/myhre/ 5-6 Grade Looping Teacher http://www.esosoft.com/abreding/ 5-6gradeconnection@esosoft.com *3-4gradelink@esosoft.com Call on God, but row away from the rocks = ********************* ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Example #4 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 18:27:57 -0700 My Teacher is an Alien Jared, Patrick, and I are third graders in Mrs. Matuga=92s class at=20 Hyatt School. We liked our teacher until . . . One day when we came back from recess, our teacher looked different. =20 She lost all her hair. Her skin was green and her eyes were red. Our=20 teacher was an alien! When the alien Mrs. Matuga stared at students, they did bad things=20 like knocking over desks and stealing other people=92s stuff. They were=20 hitting and kicking everyone. =20 All of the kids except me were doing something bad. I was saved because I= =20 never looked at the alien. The next day I brought a laser pointer to school. The teacher was just=20 standing there, waiting for me. I aimed my laser pointer at the teacher,= =20 but she saw me and teleported and landed behind me. I turned around, but I= =20 missed the alien because she teleported again. =20 She grabbed me and dragged me into the office. She put me in a chair and=20 tried to stare at me, but I didn=92t look. I grabbed my laser pointer, and= =20 this time I aimed it right at her eyes. The alien just jumped out of Mrs.= =20 Matuga and disappeared! Everyone was back to normal =96 even Mrs. Matuga. The End ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Example #3 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 18:27:04 -0700 Joan (mailto:Joan3teach@aol.com) has shared with me several writing = samples from her 3rd graders last year. These are books they published. She has given me permission to share with you, so examples 3 and 4 are from her class. See where you think they go on the rubric, and think about why. Ask yourself first, are they weaker than strong? Or are they stronger = than weak? This will help you place them. If you keep thinking in terms of progression, you might think, "This is a 2 becoming a 3." That is okay, too. Stick with the lower level until it is a definite, but it's good to note the progress being made. If you are having trouble deciding between two levels, see how much of the story fits one level and how much the other. Sometimes you just have to make a choice. If there is an inconsistent voice, but the piece is lively and engaging, you have to decide which predominates in the piece and go with that level. Susan >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> One Saturday morning, Collie, Miesha, and I biked to the park. We biked = all around the park. We watched ducks swimming in the pond. We played on the = swings. We went down the slides. We climbed on the monkey bars. We met Teriana at the park. We played games with her. We came home and ate noodles for lunch. It was fun. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #1 From: Avis Breding Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 20:45:10 -0500 This one I love... lots of feeling, and how the person feels about the buggys... the noises, and why s/he hates them.... I can feel the frustration this person has with carts....good expressions. I would rate this one about a 4 1/2 I think ;-\ AJB -- http://www.bismarck.k12.nd.us/bps/myhre/ 5-6 Grade Looping Teacher http://www.esosoft.com/abreding/ 5-6gradeconnection@esosoft.com *3-4gradelink@esosoft.com Call on God, but row away from the rocks = ********************* ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #2 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 18:51:53 -0700 >Paragraph 2 is a 3 because he allows some feelings which suck you in; >paragraph 1 is a 1 or 2 (because he wants somebody to know he has a vast >collection, but is basically into listing--as if he were talking to his >collectin instead of you Ah, a good point. This would be an evaluation of the paragraphs, but we have to judge a piece in its entirety. Your reasoning is sound, but what do you think is the level of the whole piece? Here is where you will have to do that decision making I just posted a few minutes ago. =3D) Susan ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #2 From: Sandra Doughman Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 23:23:20 -0500 RE: EXAMPLE #2 (I didn't get #1) I am having trouble deciding between Level 3 and 4. There is a commitment to the topic, with an awareness of the reader, shows sincerity and has stiffness (in the beginning listing everything) but does have a sense of writing to be read. Thus it ranks a Level 4. That stiffness of listing all of the items in the beginning gives me that feeling of mechanical which denotes a Level 3. Guess that is what was giving me confusion! Sandy Grade 4 Floral City, FL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #4 From: renfpea@pop.k12.vt.us (Kathy Renfrew) Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 23:12:48 -0400 This piece does almost nothing for me in terms of voice. I would give it a Level 2 maybe Kathy Renfrew Peacham Elementary School Grade 5/6 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #3 From: Sandra Doughman Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 23:35:02 -0500 RE: EXAMPLE #3 This piece is "flat lifeless, still and mechanical", overly informal and personal: Level 2 Sandy Grade 4 Floral City, FL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #2 From: "dennis.ada.swanson" Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 23:25:18 -0400 Susan, Are we supposed to be sending in our evaluations of the written pieces, discussing them with our buddies, or just evaluating them ourselves and wait for your evaluation? I gave the first one about the buggies a 5 overall, and I gave the second one a 3 overall. The first one I felt pretty certain on, but the second one was tricky. The edges get blurred...and would you evaluate something with a 2 and 1/2 or do you keep to whole numbers? Just looking at voice makes you really think about how caught up you were with the author... how connected you felt, and if you could feel their emotion. The first one most of us I'm sure could identify with... and the annoyance, frustration, embarrassment...I could imagine myself with that darn thing. The second one was pretty boring. It could have been prepared for an inventory and didn't need...or want... an audience...except for those few lines that hinted at awareness...some complacency...and a little frustration peeking out... Ada -----Original Message----- From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> To: SixTraitsMailring <6Traits@> Date: Saturday, July 10, 1999 9:45 PM Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #2 > >>Paragraph 2 is a 3 because he allows some feelings which suck you in; >>paragraph 1 is a 1 or 2 (because he wants somebody to know he has a vast = >>collection, but is basically into listing--as if he were talking to his >>collectin instead of you > >Ah, a good point. This would be an evaluation of the paragraphs, but we >have to judge a piece in its entirety. Your reasoning is sound, but what >do you think is the level of the whole piece? Here is where you will = have >to do that decision making I just posted a few minutes ago. =3D) > >Susan > > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #1 From: "Mayra" Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 23:51:48 -0500 This is what I feel about Example 1: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #1 From: "Mayra" Date: Sat, 10 Jul 1999 23:55:12 -0500 I would give it a 4 in the rubric. Why? * a questionable/inconsistent level of closeness with audience [wondering why you cant shut that thing up! As if it is YOUR fault it is that way??? ] * a sense of an audience [You know your every day average SHOPPING CART? They call them BUGGIES here! ] *liveliness, sincerity or humor when appropriate [the topic: baskets being called buggies] Mayra K/3-WI ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #2 From: "Mayra" Date: Sun, 11 Jul 1999 00:09:50 -0500 3. Because: "the voice may shift or disappear a line or two later and the writing become somewhat mechanical" ["so you probably know I like lego .. = . ..In the town system I have, the airport, . . . and in castle I have seven sets.] Mayra- K/3 - WI ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Example #3 From: Joan3teach@aol.com Date: Sun, 11 Jul 1999 01:57:47 EDT The student who wrote this piece will be in a special day class next year. = He has been severely abused and abandoned by parents and is now in a = somewhat stable position. He dictated the piece because he is unable to read or write. At the time he knew only 15 letters and 5 letter sounds. He was extremely happy about this day in the park. I agree that the rubric score for voice would be low, but it was a = terrific effort for him to put together his ideas telling what he did. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- End of 6Traits Digest