Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 23:10:01 -0700 Subject: 6Traits Digest #18 - 07/06/99 From: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> To: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable Sender: <6Traits@> Precedence: Bulk List-Software: LetterRip Pro 3.0.5 by Fog City Software, Inc. List-Subscribe: List-Digest: List-Unsubscribe: 6Traits Digest #18 - Tuesday, July 6, 1999 6traits by "Kerry Leggett" Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits by Voice by "Lindemarie Crawford" Re: 6Traits- Voice #2 - 7/5/99 by "jimnkath" Re: 6Traits- Voice by Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] by "Mayra" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Leanne" Voice by "Robin" Voice by "Laura Eble" Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] by 6Traits- Voice by "Steve/Lori Mabry" Re: 6Traits- Voice ...Lori Mabry by "Leanne" 6Traits- Voice by "Steve/Lori Mabry" Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] by "Smith, David" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "anne gustin" Re: 6Traits- Voice ...Lori Mabry by "Steve/Lori Mabry" voice by "Kathy Renfrew" Re: 6Traits- Voice ...Lori Mabry by "Leanne" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Kathy Renfrew" Voice by "Donald Mattoon" voice example by "D. Weissman" Re: 6Traits- 6Traits-voice homework by "Amy Schrader" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- voice assignment by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits by "Kathy Renfrew" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Kathy Renfrew" Voice #3 - 7/6/99 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Kathy" Re: 6Traits- Voice in Poetry by Voice #4 - 7/6/99 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> voice by "Shandra Beer" buddies - help by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> humor break by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Voice by "anne gustin" Re: 6Traits- Voice #4 - 7/6/99 by "Barbara D. Martin" Voice by "Robin" Voice by "Debra Bornowski" Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits by "Lynn Jacobs" Re: 6Traits- Voice h/wk by Re: 6Traits- Voice by Re: 6Traits- Voice #2 - 7/5/99 by One more "voice" by Re: 6Traits- voice/style by "SoS Debbie" Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits by Re: 6Traits- One more "voice" by example of voice by "morris" Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] by "Mayra" Voice by Voice assignment by "Brian" Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] by Re: 6Traits- Voice by Re: Voice by "Mary and Greg Gervais" Example of Voice by "Valerie Dehombreux" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6traits From: Kerry Leggett Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 18:19:55 +0800 I remember him as if it were yesterday, as he came plodding to the inn = door, his sea-chest following behind him in a hand barrow; a tall strong, heavy, nut brownman;his tarry pigtail falling over the shoulders of his soiled = blue coat; his hands ragged and scarred, with black broken nails; and a sabre = cut across one cheek, a dirty, livid whate. I remember him looking round the cove and whistling to himself as he did so, and then breaking out in that old sea-song that he sang so often afterwards. FRom Treasure Island, by R. L. Stevenson ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits From: YoungDRE@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 07:23:34 EDT Susan and all, In preparation for our discussions here, I ordered "Seeing With New = Eyes: A Guidebook On Teaching And Assessing Beginning Writers" from the = Northwest Reg Lab folks, who are the 6 trait originators. I think the book would be = helpful to have as we explore each trait for ourselves and then for the connection for our students. It is very well organized and easy to use. = I also odered thie :PictureBooks" which lists books to use for examples of each trait that we'll study here. I'll put the info below. Dotty email-- products@nwrel.org 503.275.9519 to order a catalogue or product by phone ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: Lindemarie Crawford Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 07:37:28 -0400 Sorry, just figured out I was supposed to mail this to the whole list. Apology to my group as this will be a second posting. I picked this passage from a Stephen King novel, my favorite author. It really is his "voice". Full of mystery and images to come. "The desert was the apothesis of all deserts, huge, standing to the sky = for what might have been parses in all directions. White; blinding; waterless; = without feature save for the faint, cloudy haze of the mountings which sketched themselves on the horizon and the devil-grass which brought sweet = dreams, nightmares, death." And thus begins the "The Gunslinger" series. Linde 6th Grade ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice #2 - 7/5/99 From: jimnkath Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 16:11:22 +1000 >From Storm Boy by Colin Thiele Storm Boy crept forward in fear and anger. From behind a tussock he looked = around sadly at the ruin and destruction. then, just as he was about to run back = to tell Fingerbone to fill his blunderbuss with salt, he heard a faint rustling = and crying, and there under the sticks and grass of the broken nests were = three tiny pelicans - still alive. Storm Boy picked them up carefully and hurried = back to Hide-Away with them. This is an Australian author and his stories have such great voice you can picture every image and for years after feel as if you were part of the = story. He has written many books from picture books to books for adults. Kathy Ferguson Year 4/5 Queensland , Australia ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: DLM2nd@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 09:05:17 EDT "Isn't it incredible how often writing means writing stories? I can't = stand writing stories. Honestly! I never write them from my imagination - only = when an idea from life or books jumps into my head, not out of it. I have = about four ideas a year, and I'm a proficient, professional, published writer, yet we ask children to write story after story. What's wrong with = letters, for instance? Clarity, voice, power, and control are much more easily developed through letter writing because, perhaps, the audience is = so clearly defined and will, if all goes well, respond." This is from Mem Fox's book, Radical Reflections: Passionate Opinions on Teaching, Learning, and Living ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] From: "Mayra" Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 08:46:14 -0500 Comparing my example with everyone else's I'm beginning to wonder if I understand "voice" the same as everyone else. (My example was a passage = from Goodnight Moon). The way I understand voice is almost like style, = something that is constant and unique to that writer. It is the way that writer = feels the story and is able to give it, or present it back to others. Also, the way to have students develop voice is to have them write, write, write, then and only then, will their voice be able to come out. Some writers are able to "allow" their voice to come out right away, [I had a first grader who had this] but for others, the mayority, it takes a lot of writing. Am I understanding this wrong? Help, Susan, help! Please clarify. mayra ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Leanne Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 07:34:43 -0500 I have found that kids do write in their own 'voices'...and do manage to convey a unique sense of themselves, when their writing is personal. In their daily journals, for instance, I find some lovely turns of phrase. There, too, are strange little sequences that resonate with whatever personal style they have already developed. I find that these moments are more frequent when kids have chosen their own topics, or when an assignment is open-ended enough to allow for individual interpretation. At the moment, for example, I'm thinking of the little girl in my class who wrote beautifully about her fear and excitement over her impending tonsilectomy, or the little boy who wrote with great candour about his sadness the morning his father left on a month-long business trip. These are the personal moments in which our children find their own voices. I have seen this quality in 'assigned' pieces as well, but only when the topic was viewed as a starting point only, and when the kids had been coached to find their own way of handling the detail and form of the story. One problem I had this year with a writers' workshop approach was that whenever I modeled writing, my kids' assignments invariably looked just like mine. Even when I modeled story development orally, the stories they wrote included the same events, vocabulary and style as whatever I had produced. I spent a lot of energy encouraging them to write something original on these occasions, but it seemed that having a 'teacher example' in the room first overwhelmed them. Has anyone else had this problem? Leanne. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: Robin Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 09:56:01 -0400 --------------7C01AC9680F28CF6F2AD554E Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Funny I should check my email this morning and find this. Here is a passage from The Loop by Nicholas Evans that I just had to read to my husband last night. I believe it shows voice. "Last night there was high drama in the old hospital gardens where most of the aid group volunteers live. The accommodation is, to put it generously, pretty damn basic, ei,shacks with no doors or windows, camp beds and a mosquito net with (if your lucky) only a few holes. Anyway, this young German guy, Hans-Herbert, was feeling tired and turned in early, right after supper. When his roomamtes went to bed a couple hours later they saw he'd fallen asleep with one arm hanging over the side of his beda dn ( I hope you're ready for this, Helen) a twelve foot boa constictor had started to swallow it. It had gotten up beyond the elbow, with poor old Hans-Herbert still sleeping like a baby!!" Robin 6th grade North Carolina --------------7C01AC9680F28CF6F2AD554E Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Funny I should check my email this morning and find this.  Here is a passage from The Loop by Nicholas Evans that I just had to read to my husband last night.  I believe it shows voice.

"Last night there was high drama in the old hospital gardens where most of the aid group volunteers live.  The accommodation is, to put it generously, pretty damn basic, ei,shacks with no doors or windows, camp beds and a mosquito net with (if your lucky) only a few holes.  = Anyway, this young German guy,  Hans-Herbert, was feeling tired and turned in early, right after supper.  When his roomamtes went to bed a = couple hours later they saw he'd fallen asleep with one arm hanging over the side of his beda dn ( I hope you're ready for this, Helen) a twelve foot boa constictor had started to swallow it.  It had gotten up beyond the elbow, with poor old Hans-Herbert still sleeping like a baby!!"

Robin
6th grade
North Carolina --------------7C01AC9680F28CF6F2AD554E-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: Laura Eble Date: Wed, 07 Jul 1999 09:19:00 -0500 My example of voice comes from The True Story of the Three Little Pigs by A. Wolf as told to Joh Scieszka. . . "And you know what? That whole darn straw house fell down. And right in the middle of the pile of straw was the First Little Pig-dead as a doornail. He had been home the whole time. It seemed like a shame to leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw. So I ate it up. Think of it as a big cheeseburger just lying there." Laura Grade 1 IL ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] From: YoungDRE@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 10:47:03 EDT Hope this is okay to do Susan as I'm looking at pg 18 in "Seeing With New Eyes" from the NWreg Lab folks, about 6 traits. Here is what it says = about voice. It was helpful for me to read it and reflect on all that is being shared here. Dotty VOICE What to look and listen for.... *Individuality *Sparkle *Personality *Liveliness, playfulness *Emotion *The unusual *Taking a chance by trying something new or different * Recognizing that both the writing and drawing are for self and audience *Tailoring communication to an audience * Response to voice in the writing/art of others Then it lists ways to reinforce voice... ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits- Voice From: Steve/Lori Mabry Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 09:56:24 -0500 A student's voice..... (Note to all - this was after I read the original Flowers are Red poem to my class.) Flowers are Red by Elizabeth Johnstone Flowers are red as red as red leaves are green yes, each and every one Little boy said, red is red, but purple is purple, green is green, but buttercups are yellow Teacher said never see flowers in shades of violet or tangerine see the flowers bright crimson and evergreen Little boy was fooled, his heart so mellow and soft, never painted tulips tickle me pink instead he painted tulips dark blood red and the stems, dark forest green he moved one day, to a school, far away, he went to class Teacher said to paint, painting is for everyone, so he painted flower petals not lavender and baby blue, but bright, shocking red, and plain boring green Little boy said never see flowers in shades of robin's egg blue see the flowers soft and dewy, with life, beaded with a soft, light drizzle of rain, in colors of plain red, and dull green stems and leaves teacher said nothing, but knew in her heart flowers could be in shades of orchid pink, for orchids are already soft and glowing lightly purple pink, leaves can be green, but also goldenrod, cracking dark brown of oak tree little boy grew up, but his heart, is still mellow and soft, never painted fat buds and blossom, with creativity and imagination, but with red and green, the colors that, were told to him, many years ago. Lori Mabry 1/2 Keller, Texas ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice ...Lori Mabry From: Leanne Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 09:57:23 -0500 Lori...does the 1/2 after your name mean you teach grades 1 and 2?????? Leanne. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits- Voice From: Steve/Lori Mabry Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 10:04:08 -0500 Another student's voice..... (Don't hate me. I love this one too, so I had to share it. She wrote it while I was reading to them one day.) Loose and kind, Furious as a bear, A risk taking fox, Yet cautious as a hare, Reading by and by, RASCAL, low and high, Sterling, Rascal, Hershal, Voice drifting far and near, Emerald is precious, Topaz is real, Stalling like crazy, Sarcastically suggests, Mrs. Castleberry's tense, "STOP" she says, Threatening an ugly boy, Confused is she, On a silly word, Ugly boy turns red, Laughing about cows, She's in rhythm now, Talking to herself, Laughing at the book, Fingers twitching, Wonderful teacher, Mrs. Lori Mabry. By Meagan Thompson Lori Mabry 1/2 Keller, Texas ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] From: D-SMITH@cybersol.com (Smith, David) Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 11:22:08 -0400 YoungDRE@aol.com wrote: > Hope this is okay to do Susan as I'm looking at pg 18 in "Seeing With = New > Eyes" from the NWreg Lab folks, about 6 traits. Here is what it says = about > voice. It was helpful for me to read it and reflect on all that is = being > shared here. > Dotty > > VOICE > What to look and listen for.... > *Individuality > *Sparkle > *Personality > *Liveliness, playfulness > *Emotion > *The unusual > *Taking a chance by trying something new or different > * Recognizing that both the writing and drawing are for self and = audience > *Tailoring communication to an audience > * Response to voice in the writing/art of others > > Then it lists ways to reinforce voice... But how do you teach the above to little kids? deb ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: anne gustin Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 08:30:30 -0700 (PDT) Lori, If you teach 1/2 and got poems like this, you are way out of my league. Gosh, aren't you lucky? the two you put on ring were wonderful.You have some talent there. I am very impressed. Thank you for sharing with us. Anne Gustin --- Steve/Lori Mabry wrote: > A student's voice..... > > (Note to all - this was after I read the original > Flowers are Red poem to my class.) > > Flowers are Red > by Elizabeth Johnstone > > Flowers are red > as red as red > leaves are green > yes, each and every one > Little boy said, > red is red, > but purple is purple, > green is green, > but buttercups are yellow > Teacher said > never see flowers > in shades of violet or tangerine > see the flowers > bright crimson and evergreen > Little boy was fooled, > his heart so mellow and soft, > never painted > tulips tickle me pink > instead he painted > tulips dark blood red > and the stems, > dark forest green > he moved one day, > to a school, > far away, > he went to class > Teacher said to paint, > painting is for everyone, > so he painted > flower petals > not lavender and baby blue, > but bright, shocking red, > and plain boring green > Little boy said > never see flowers > in shades of robin's egg blue > see the flowers > soft and dewy, > with life, beaded with a soft, > light drizzle of rain, > in colors of plain red, > and dull green stems > and leaves > teacher said nothing, > but knew in her heart > flowers could be in shades of > orchid pink, > for orchids > are already soft and glowing > lightly purple pink, > leaves can be green, > but also goldenrod, > cracking dark brown > of oak tree > little boy grew up, > but his heart, > is still mellow > and soft, > never painted fat buds and > blossom, > with creativity and imagination, > but with red and green, > the colors that, > were told to him, > many years ago. > > > > Lori Mabry > 1/2 Keller, Texas > > > _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice ...Lori Mabry From: Steve/Lori Mabry Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 10:29:57 -0500 Yes - I wondered if maybe I should explain that. :o) I've taught 3/4 and then a 4/5 in the last three years. I'm going back to 1/2 this year. (In order to get in this district, next year I'm going to try to move up - I think?!?) Oh - both of the girls were 4th graders. Lori 1/2 TX Leanne wrote: > Lori...does the 1/2 after your name mean you teach grades 1 and 2?????? > > Leanne. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: voice From: renfpea@pop.k12.vt.us (Kathy Renfrew) Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 15:34:34 -0400 "We need a place, " she said, "just for us. it would be so secret that we would never tell anyone in the whole world about it." Jess came swinging back and dragged his feet to a stop. She lowered her voice to almost a whisper. "It might be a whole secret country," she continued, "and you and I would be rulers of it." I think this is a good example of voive from one of my all time favorites, Bridge to terabithia by Katherine Paterson. Kathy Renfrew Peacham Elementary School Grade 5/6 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice ...Lori Mabry From: Leanne Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 10:30:57 -0500 Wow...even so, these are delightful! Isn't it amazing what kids can produce? I think sometimes that children are more able than adults to get their voices on paper...they haven't yet been inundated with all the other voices telling them theirs are not right, not accurate, something to be embarrassed about. I am in the middle of a writing project myself right now, and the most difficult thing about getting started each day is having to defeat those doubts. Kids (if they're lucky) haven't learned to question their reponses to the world the way we have. I think it's fantastic that your kids feel safe enough in your class to write from within themselves the way these two obviously have. Congrats! Leanne. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: renfpea@pop.k12.vt.us (Kathy Renfrew) Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 12:18:42 -0400 "We need a place, " she said, "just for us. it would be so secret that we would never tell anyone in the whole world about it." Jess came swinging back and dragged his feet to a stop. She lowered her voice to almost a whisper. "It might be a whole secret country," she continued, "and you and I would be rulers of it." I think this is a good example of voive from one of my all time favorites, Bridge to terabithia by Katherine Paterson. Kathy Renfrew Peacham Elementary School Grade 5/6 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: "Donald Mattoon" Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 09:15:42 -0700 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_00A6_01BEC790.1F23A3C0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable Chester Raccoon stood at the edge of the forest and cried.=3D20 "I don't want to go to school," he told his mother. "I want to =3D stay home with you. I want to play with my friends. And play with my =3D toys. And read my books. And swing on my swing. Please may I stay home = =3D with you?" Mrs.. Raccoon took Chester by the hand and nuzzled him on the ear. "Sometimes we all have to do things we don't want to do," she told =3D him gently. "Even if they seem strange and scary at first. But you =3D will love school once you start." from The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn I would have written from my all time favorite Owl Babies but my =3D books are packed at school and this is a book I keep at home to give as = =3D a baby gift! Susan Mattoon Cheney, WA First Grade =3D20 ------=3D_NextPart_000_00A6_01BEC790.1F23A3C0 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

    Chester=3D20 Raccoon stood at the edge of the forest and =3D cried. 
    =3D20 "I don't want to go to school," he told his mother.  =3D "I want=3D20 to stay home with you.  I want to play with my friends.  And =3D play with=3D20 my toys. And read my books.  And swing on my swing.  Please =3D may I stay=3D20 home with  you?"
   =3D20 Mrs.. Raccoon took Chester by the hand and nuzzled him on the =3D ear.
    "Sometimes = =3D we all have=3D20 to do things we don't want to do," she told him gently.  =3D "Even if=3D20 they seem strange and scary at first.  But you will love school =3D once you=3D20 start."
 
from The Kissing Hand by Audrey =3D Penn
 
    I would have = =3D written from my=3D20 all time favorite Owl Babies but my books are packed at school =3D and this=3D20 is a book I keep at home to give as a baby gift!
 
Susan Mattoon
Cheney, WA
First Grade
 
 
   =3D20
------=3D_NextPart_000_00A6_01BEC790.1F23A3C0-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: voice example From: "D. Weissman" Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 12:41:54 -0400 I just started reading Ann Rinaldi's A Break with Charity. The first chapter is a wonderful example of voice. I'm not sure if it comes through in a short excerpt: "I stand as guilty as they. For I knew better and did not step forth to try to stop the madness. Certainly not in any manner that counted. I held back, afraid. Oh, I knew learned men also held back until they knew the time was right and there would be no reprisals. It helps me sometimes, knowing that. It helps in my head. But in my heart, where such matters weigh the heaviest, I know how wrong I was. And that is the real reason I am here today. For if Ann Putnam can come and publicly beg forgiveness-an act I could never do-then surely I can come and bear witness. . . . . . . . Oh, if had only known that day so long ago when I stood outside the parsonage in the cold, aching to belong to that circle of girls who did not want me. If I had only known what they were about, truly I would have turneed and run the other way! I would have turned and run across the snow, back to my horse and cart, and dashed away! I close my eyes now and trembl with the memory. Wishing I could bring it back. Wishing. For I remember just how it was, and where I was standing and what I was feeling in that moment it was given me to decide what to do. Given the chance again, I know I would do the right thing. I would run. I know I would! Wouldn't I?" Deb Weissman Gr 6 Jaffrey, NH ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- 6Traits-voice homework From: Amy Schrader Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 09:53:32 -0700 (PDT) Hi all, Jan Karon, author of the Mitford series of books uses voice in a powerful. I was engaged with the author from the first page of book one and couldn't wait to read them all. Now that I've finished the fifth book "A New Song", which just came out, I find myself wanting another book right now and its not even written yet. I think that's what makes a good use of voice. What do you all think? Here's my example from her most recent book: "Jonathon had wanted his mother tonight; his tears called up a few of Father Tim's very own. He thought it must be agony to be small and helpless, with no mother, no father, no brother or sister to be found. He held Jonathon against his chest, over his heart, an let the boy sob until he exhausted his tears. He walked with him through the house in a five-room circle, crooning snatches of hymns, small prayers, and benedictions, fragments of stories about Pooh and Toad and that pesky rabbit, Peter. He didn't know what to do with a child who was crying out of bewilderment and loss, except to be with him in it." _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 10:04:35 -0700 Dale asks: >I do have a question about voice, even as I begin t understand it. How can you teach a young child about voice so that they understand. I mean I constantly teach about sentence structure, proper grammar etc., but good writing doesn't necessarily follow the rules of Proper writing. How do you teach a fourth grader when it is okay to take "liberties"? > Stay tuned! This is part of our week's discussion. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- voice assignment From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 10:09:37 -0700 >How close is the trait of voice to the old-fashioned term author style? > > >Angela Hi, Angela, I believe that author's style may be more closely involved in organization and word choice, perhaps idea. When I think of voice, I think of the writer leaving "fingerprints" on the page, a flavor or tone that is individual to that author or that piece. When I think of style, I tend to think more of the construction of the piece. For instance, e.e. cummings lack of capitals was part of his style. This is what *I* think. You are welcome to disagree with me. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 10:11:54 -0700 ><< s this an example of voice? "As the water trickled into the dirt, I > looked at Jenny - she looked at me. We were like that red flower; dug = up > from our home soil, ferried over rivers, jolted over plains, drylands, = and > killer mountains. Ma drew us close in a hug so tight I could not = breathe." > This is an excerpt from Red Flower Goes West by Ann Turner. > >> > >Seems like a great selection for word choice. Yes, you're right. It is also a reflection of voice. A little longer exerpt might give more of the voice. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 10:25:37 -0700 >In preparation for our discussions here, I ordered "Seeing With New Eyes: >A Guidebook On Teaching And Assessing Beginning Writers" from the = Northwest >Reg Lab folks, who are the 6 trait originators. I think the book would = be >helpful to have as we explore each trait for ourselves and then for the >connection for our students. The book is helpful, but I found it more helpful after I knew what the traits were and what the rubric is. We will be getting to the rubric later today. My purpose for the course = is to *introduce* you to the 6 Traits and help you understand each of them = and how to use the rubric in teaching and evaluating student writing. Please bear in mind that, although there was no charge for the course, this is a *course* and not just a mailring, at the moment. Let's take one careful step at a time, to make this most useful. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits From: renfpea@pop.k12.vt.us (Kathy Renfrew) Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 13:38:20 -0400 > > In preparation for our discussions here, I ordered "Seeing With New = Eyes: >A Guidebook On Teaching And Assessing Beginning Writers" from the = Northwest >Reg Lab folks, who are the 6 trait originators. I think the book would = be >helpful to have as we explore each trait for ourselves and then for the >connection for our students. It is very well organized and easy to use. = I >also odered thie :PictureBooks" which lists books to use for examples of >each trait that we'll study here. I'll put the info below. >Dotty > >email-- products@nwrel.org > >503.275.9519 to order a catalogue or product by phone How much are each of these books? I looked at them on line but there is no price. thanks Kathy Renfrew Peacham Elementary School Grade 5/6 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: renfpea@pop.k12.vt.us (Kathy Renfrew) Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 13:42:39 -0400 I would love to know where I could find a copy of the original poem = Flowers Are Red. As I read and think about all the voice posts including my own, the ones I am touched hte most by are the ones from students.. Kathy Renfrew Peacham Elementary School Grade 5/6 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice #3 - 7/6/99 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 11:00:59 -0700 Good morning, all, After reading through the quotations which many of you sent in response to yesterday's assignment, I feel that you have a pretty good grip on identifying voice in your reading. There were some questions on how to teach students to write with voice. Of course, a lot of it in the beginning involves exposing them to pieces of fiction which demonstrate voice well. We'll discuss this further after everyone understands the = rubric. The rubric is not just for teachers. It is also for students, yes, even those little ones in first and second grade. We are going over the = general rubri first, and then we'll look at the modifications that are made for younger students. The rubric we are using is a 1-6 scale. In simplest terms: 1 - Beginning 2 - Emerging 3 - Developing 4 - Proficient 5 - Strong 6 - Exemplary When you evaluate a child's writing for any of the traits, first look at = it and ask yourself, "Is this weaker than strong, or stronger than weak?" This decision narrows you to choosing 1-3 or 4-6, and makes your life easier. I'm all for that! The rubric is a continuum that works for *all* grade levels. A child, a writer, moves along the continuum, and, hopefully, somewhere in the late elementary or middle school begins working consistently in the 4-5 range, although maturity continues to make the writing more interesting and = better. The rubric is *not* a grade. It is an evaluation of progress along the writing continuum. There is a rubric for each trait. A particular paper will be evaluated for one trait, normally, and it's usually the one you = are emphasizing at that time. After students are aware of all traits, you might look for two traits on one paper. While Mickey is getting our web page set up, I've put the voice rubric on an Edlist page. Please go there and print out the standard rubric. In a short while, I will post message #4, exploring the rubric. http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Meadows/9781/Edlist/rubric2.html Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 11:12:57 -0700 >As I read and think about all the voice posts including my own, the ones = I >am touched hte most by are the ones from students.. Kathy, this is an excellent example of why we call reading interactive between author and reader. What you bring to your reading, your experiences and your point of interest, are also important. A good example of this is the book about the Ya-Ya Sisterhood, mentioned = by at least two people yesterday. I heard a lot about this book from all my friends who were totally impressed with it. When I read it, I could hear the voice clearly, because of southern background in my family, and I = could see my older sister living it. I could not personally identify with the characters. I could hear their voices plainly, and the echo of my sister in them, but I could not find me, and I didn't enjoy the book at all. In fact, I only plowed through about half before putting it down. This is not a reflection on the author or the use of voice in the book. = It is a reflection on the reader's experiences and point of interest. Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Kathy Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 13:10:48 -0500 I don't have a specific example right now, but I had a student who really captured "voice" in her journal each day. Each time I read her entries, I could hear her "talking" in my head. Her written voice sounded just like her spoken voice. Her phrasing and cliche' were uniquely hers. I'm wondering .... would that voice come out if you didn't personally know the writer? I wish I had an example, but she has her journal. ~*~*~*~*KATHY~~~5th grade~~~IOWA*~*~*~*~ ~*To teach is to touch a life forever*~ mailto:teach@willinet.net ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice in Poetry From: Mrswilcox@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 15:39:01 EDT During a poetry unit this year, I inadvertantly taught my students about voice...they had lots of poetry books to peruse, and were supposed to find = an autobiographical poem for themselves. In other words, a poem, already published, that they could relate to, it "spoke" to them. They loved this, = and did a really good job. Some kids even found poems for others - I = modelled this activity by reading a poem about body surfing with my father, which I = didn't write, but detailed exactly my experiences and feelings at the = ocean with my dad. I often share "Vanessa" stories with my class, (my 6 year old = daughter, who is quite a character) She manages to put 'voice' in = everything she does! One of my students found the following poem, and brought it to = me, with the pronouncement that it was definitely a Vanessa poem! Vanessa = loved it so much, we typed it and put it up on the wall in her bedroom! Sorry I = don't have the author, it's from a book of school-related poems. Joanie Why Can't a Girl Be the Leader of the Boys? The boys chase the girls, And the girls chase the boys. I'm a girl...but I'm The leader of the boys. Some girls call me a traitor, And they say, "It's just not right. You ought to be on our side When the boys and girls fight." But the boys love my karate. And my running is great, too. They especially love my holler When I've caught a girl, "YAHOO!" When the boys chase the girls, And the girls chase the boys, Why can't a girl be the leader Of the boys? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice #4 - 7/6/99 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 13:36:55 -0700 Here is the first half of the writing rubric. Assignment: Please go through this copy, or one you printed from the web site, and underline the words which seem to you to be definitive of each level. Also, circle the words which separate a 2 from a 1 and a 3 from a 2. = Then discuss your observations *within your group*. Each group should post *one* message *to the list*, so choose a reporter, to avoid repetition. *Sign all group names involved in the discussion* to the group message, please. In the group report, please list the terms from the rubric which your group considered to be definitive of each level. Example: Level 1 - "no engagement of the writer" "flat" "lifeless" = etc. For those who want a certificate of hours at the completion of the course, I am keeping track of all the postings. You will have to discuss with = your district whether or not they accept it for inservice clock hours. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>= > >>>>>> *6 Traits Writing Assessment Rubric for Voice* The Weak Side: Level - 1 - Beginning (Not Yet) Writing Looks Like: The writing seems to lack a sense of involvment or commitment. The writing is characterized by: no engagement of the writer; the writing is flat and lifeless. a lack of audience awareness; there is no sense of "writing to be read." no hint of the writer behind the words. There is no sense of interaction between writer and reader; the writing does not involve or engage the reader. In general, there is no feeling of the writer. Level - 2 - Emerging Writing Looks Like: The writing provides little sense of involvement or commitment. There is = no evidence that the writer has chosen a suitable voice. The writing is characterized by: little engagement of the writer; the writing tends to be largely flat, lifeless, stiff, or mechanical. a voice that is likely to be overly informal and personal. a lack of audience awareness; there is little sense of "writing to be = read." little or no hint of the writer behind the words. There is rarely a sense of interaction between reader and writer. Level 3 - Developing Writing Looks Like: The writer's commitment to the topic seems inconsistent. A sense of the writer may emerge at times; however, the voice is either inappropriately personal or inappropriately impersonal. The writing is characterized by: a limited sense of audience; the writer's awareness of the reader is = unclear. an occasional sense of the writer behind the words; however, the voice = may shift or disappear a line or two later and the writing become somewhat mechanical. a limited ability to shift to a more objective voice when necessary. (expository, persuasive, for example) In general, there may be a feeling of the writer, but it is a stiff voice. Susan Nixon 2nd grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: voice From: "Shandra Beer" Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 13:38:40 -0700 The voice of Eric Kimmel in his Anansi stories is playful, exciting, fun, and upbeat. This is sample from Anansi and the Talking Melon. "Just then he heard the Elephant returning to the garden. Anansi had a= n idea. 'When Elephant gets closer, I will say something. Elephant will think the melon is talking. What fun!' Elephant walked over the melon patch. 'Look at this fine melon. How big an= d ripe it is!' he said, picking it up. 'Ouch!' cried Anansi. Elephant jumped. 'Aah! Who said that?' 'I did. The melon, ' Anansi said. 'I didn't know melons could talk,' said Elephant. 'Of course we do. We talk all the time. The trouble is, you never listen.' " Shandra Beer 2/3 Temecula, CA To get random signatures put text files into a folder called =B3Random Signatures=B2 into your Preferences folder. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: buddies - help From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 13:48:06 -0700 >From: Kelly Mueller >We crashed our email program last Wednesday, and when we >finally got it running again Monday I had 1147 messages! I'm still >plodding through them! >I teach first grade. Kelly lost her buddy in the crash of her program. I don't have her name = in the K-1 buddy box, so does someone out there remember that Kelly was a buddy? If not, I will put her with another group. Also, just yesterday I put Kathi Sikich from Green Bay, WI in a group with 5th grade teachers. Apparently, I missed grabbing that message out of my out box, and Kathi accidently deleted it when printing the note I sent. Doubly unfortunately, Kathi's printer chose that moment to run out of ink! Can you believe that? If you are one of the people in Kathi's group, please contact her, and me. mailto:Klsikich@aol.com Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: humor break From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 14:23:36 -0700 http://www.coyotesdaughter.com/rain/ Today's Ozy & Millie cartoon seems to illustrate voice pretty well. =3D) Scroll down from top a bit to see the cartoon. Susan Nixon Grade 2 Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: anne gustin Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 14:39:42 -0700 (PDT) I loved the Ya-Ya Sisterhood and maybe it is because I live in the south and was raised by a grandmother who came straight out of that book. The words were so her that it touched me in ways other books never do and I agree that the voice examples in this book were so good. After reading most of the ones sent in, I am beginning to understand voice better. When we were writing simile poems in class with second graders, this is what one of them wrote on her first try. I was impressed. As blue as the ocean As blue as the sky As blue as my jeans Are my favorite teacher's eyes. As red as an apple As red as a firetruck As red as a flower Are my sunburned toes. We made a book of these poems and it is one I keep to share with new classes each year, but not until we have written the new poems ourselves. All of them show voice. --- > _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice #4 - 7/6/99 From: "Barbara D. Martin" Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 15:15:06 -0700 This has long been a favorite poem of mine, and I believe it shows voice? (If I'm wrong, please let me know!!) It's part of "Fern Hill" by Dylan Thomas. Now as I was young and easy under the apple boughs About the lilting house and happy as the grass was green, The night above the dingle starry, Time let me hail and climb Golden in the heydays of his eyes, And honoured among wagons I was prince of the apple towns And once below a time I lordly had the trees and leaves Trail with daisies and barley Down the rivers of the windfall light. All the sun long it was running, it was lovely, the hay Fields high as the house, the tunes from the chimneys, it was air, And playing, lovely and watery And fire green as grass. And nightly under the simple stars As I rode to sleep the owls were bearing the farm away, All the moon long I heard, blessed among stables, the nightjars Flying with the ricks, and the horses Flashing into the night. Barbara/CA/4-5 PS I would love it if we could sign our samples with the grade level(s) we teach. I had 19 non-native English speaking students last year, and reading what some of you were able to get out of your first and second graders is SO depressing--and also fills me with hope! I struggled all year to get a simple paragraph out of some of my students--and with some I just worked on complete sentences! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: Robin Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 18:31:13 -0400 --------------A9817406E3B18D4BE0E95685 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Here is another passage from The Loop by Nicholas Evans that when I read it this afternoon, almost brought me to tears. I could feel the remorse the old man felt as he faced death. It is quite long but I tried to shorten it up without taking out any meaning. "Before he died, the wolfer wanted to say sorry but there was no on to say it to. The only person who'd understand was Winnie and she was dead. He wondered how long she'd known about 'that little flicker,' as she'd called it, and why she hadn't told him before, though he knew in his heart he'd never have listened. He thought about going to the biologist woman's cabin and saying sorry to her. But he didn't know her and he was too ashemaed to tell her what he'd done. And anyhow, it wasn't just this he needed to apologize for. It was a whole lifetime. In the end, he'd come straight to the mine. It was as good a place as any. When he'd first gotten here, his mind was racing so carzily that he though maybe the pup he'd shot the night before might not be dead after all and if he could only find the entrance to the mine, he might yet be able to save it. He'd hunted all around, but he couldn't find it and in the end he'd come to his senses and remembered the damage the bullet had done.... ....He had dealt in death all his days and thus had little fear of it. And when at last it came, there was no clamor or fanfare of pain, not any vengeful recitiation of his sins." --------------A9817406E3B18D4BE0E95685 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Here is another passage from The Loop by Nicholas Evans that when I read it this afternoon, almost brought me to tears.  I could feel the remorse the old man felt as he faced death.  It is quite long but I tried to shorten it up without taking out any meaning.

"Before he died, the wolfer wanted to say sorry but there was no on to say it to.

The only person who'd understand was Winnie and she was dead.  He wondered how long she'd known about 'that little flicker,' as she'd called it, and why she hadn't told him before, though he knew in his heart he'd never have listened.

He thought about going to the biologist woman's cabin and saying sorry to her.  But he didn't know her and he was too ashemaed to tell her what he'd done.  And anyhow, it wasn't just this he needed to = apologize for.  It was a whole lifetime.  In the end, he'd come straight to the mine.  It was as good a place as any.

When he'd first gotten here, his mind was racing so carzily that he though maybe the pup he'd shot the night before might not be dead after all and if he could only find the entrance to the mine, he might yet be able to save it.  He'd hunted all around, but he couldn't find it and in the end he'd come to his senses and remembered the damage the = bullet had done....

...He had dealt in death all his days and thus had little fear of = it.  And when at last it came, there was no clamor or fanfare of pain, not any vengeful recitiation of his sins." --------------A9817406E3B18D4BE0E95685-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: Debra Bornowski Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 17:37:06 -0500 --------------DE8DA95697C3BA13459D12D4 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit It is silent now. But I have stood here when the whole air was full of noises of Charn; the trampling of feet, the creaking of wheels, the cracking of the whips and the groaning of the slaves, and the sacraficial drums beating in the temples. I have stood here when the roar of battle went up from every street and the river of Charn ran red. From: The Chronicles of Narnia The Magician's Nephew by: C.S. Lewis --------------DE8DA95697C3BA13459D12D4 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit It is silent now.  But I have stood here when the whole air was full of noises of Charn; the trampling of feet, the creaking of wheels, the cracking of the whips and the groaning of the slaves, and the sacraficial drums beating in the temples.  I have stood here when the roar of battle went up from every street and the river of Charn ran red.
From:  The Chronicles of Narnia
           The Magician's Nephew
           by:  C.S. Lewis --------------DE8DA95697C3BA13459D12D4-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits From: Lynn Jacobs Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 16:41:54 -0700 (PDT) I am really going to have to unsubscribe. I have to leave for NC on an unexpected trip. I will miss this. --- Kathy Renfrew wrote: > > > > > In preparation for our discussions here, I > ordered "Seeing With New Eyes: > >A Guidebook On Teaching And Assessing Beginning > Writers" from the Northwest > >Reg Lab folks, who are the 6 trait originators. I > think the book would be > >helpful to have as we explore each trait for > ourselves and then for the > >connection for our students. It is very well > organized and easy to use. I > >also odered thie :PictureBooks" which lists books > to use for examples of > >each trait that we'll study here. I'll put the > info below. > >Dotty > > > >email-- products@nwrel.org > > > >503.275.9519 to order a catalogue or product by > phone > > > How much are each of these books? I looked at them > on line but there is no > price. > > thanks > > > > > Kathy Renfrew > Peacham Elementary School > Grade 5/6 > > > > =3D=3D=3D Lynn A. Jacobs/1st/VA 1st grade dlskj@yahoo.com (a North Carolina girl livin' in VA) _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice h/wk From: LAOC51576@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 19:40:21 EDT I have to echo Junie B as one of my favorites right now. I have not read others by Barbara Park, but will look for those. I read these aloud to my = teachers when ever we have a workshop or inservice. Since they are all kindergarten teachers we all laugh at Junie B and remember a child just = like her!! "Yes, you do too.' he said back. 'My brother is in seventh grade. And he says the monster waits till you're asleep. Then he crawls up next to you. = And he lies down on your pollow. And he practices fitting your mouth in = his mouth.' I covered up my ears. But Paulie Allen Puffer talked louder. 'I can prove it,' he said. 'Didn't you ever wake up with a drool spot on your pillow?' I thought very hard. 'Yeah.....so?' 'So where do you think it came from?' he asked. 'It came from the = monster under your bed, that's where. It was monster drool, Junie B. Jones." I've just finished Low Country by Anne Rivers Sidons - but my mother = borrowed it - I'm sure there are some examples of voice there. It's a wonderful = book if you are from or live near the South Carolina beaches. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: LAOC51576@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 19:41:12 EDT Sorry, I forgot to sign the last entry from Junie B. Luci/Early Childhood/SC ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice #2 - 7/5/99 From: Shellygarc@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 20:11:17 EDT The following is an excerpt from On the Occasion of My Last Afternoon by = my favorite author/voice, Kaye Gibbons: Dr. Lowell ignored the criticism of university training by changing the topic. He told Mother that the tenderloin melted in his mouth. He had = never tasted new red potatoes, and Mother offered to have Clarice hash them for breakfast. I glanced at Father, who, angry at the thwarting of a = burgeoning argument, seemed in a mind's retrest, scheming his next sortie. When the table-talk hushed for a moment as Mintus cleared the plates, Father held forth. "So is it true," he asked, thumping segar ash into the plate as it = arose, "that the ladies of south Boston harness themselves up with buggy straps to be whipped up and down the streets by Negro men?" Dr. and Mrs. Lowell were mortified. We all were. Quincy rose from the table, with his parents, Mother, and me behind him. Father was calling = for Mother to stay where she belonged. "You won't get up and leave this = table," he commanded. But she had left already and did not swivel to return. I worried that she would pay, but I was too disorganized in my thinking to regard fully the risk that Mother assumed when she followed two gentlemen = who were above responding to a man she knew could speak so coarsely and then = fall into sleep with a volume of Voltaire on his chest." Sorry I'm so late - I have company and will have to further respond = tomorrow. Shelley/1st/CA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: One more "voice" From: MacKenzieZ@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 20:06:47 EDT Here's my example of voice (sorry -- I misunderstood where to post this = and posted it to my group first) -- one of my students -- extremely bright -- = bitingly funny -- and painfully introspective. When I was five, they told me that all my friends had stopped. I didn't stop. At ten, they told me that everyone would make fun of me. No one = made fun of me. At fourteen, they told me that I was being silly. I still = don't think it's silly. I will concede that thumbsucking is not a particularly redeeming habit. = It is, however, one of the best bad habits I know. At stressful times, some = of my friends turn to assorted sordid drugs, overeating, or the liberal abuse = of loved ones. Others choose different orifices into which they jam their fingers. When in need of comfort, I simply pop digital tab A into oral = slot B and become content immeditately. It's discreet, subtle, and quietly rewarding. In spite of dire warnings, my teeth are still as straight as Chiclets. Howzzat for voice??? Trisha 8th Grade ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- voice/style From: Debbie "šoš" Date: Wed, 07 Jul 1999 01:03:27 GMT So, would Dr. Suess' work be an example of style or voice? Or maybe the tone would be voice, and the nonsense words would be style? His work is = so unique and imprinted with himself, I was not one bit surprised to learn = that Theo LeSieg WAS Dr. Suess. (I kind of wondered at myself for not getting = it sooner lol) Debbie =BAo=BA Grade 2 Ontario, Canada >How close is the trait of voice to the old-fashioned term author style? > > >Angela Hi, Angela, I believe that author's style may be more closely involved in organization and word choice, perhaps idea. When I think of voice, I think of the writer leaving "fingerprints" on the page, a flavor or tone that is individual to that author or that piece. When I think of style, I tend to think more of the construction of the piece. For instance, e.e. cummings lack of capitals was part of his style. This is what *I* think. You are welcome to disagree with me. =3D) Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits From: Billiej43@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 21:07:29 EDT can't get through to the site.....any other options? Billie/5/ohio ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- One more "voice" From: FRANCHADDC@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 21:21:24 EDT Sorry to be so late with this, been extremely busy!! Penny was the one doing most of the screaming, her body trembling, her eyes fixed on her right hand, now uncurling as it slipped steadily = from her mother's grip. "I can feel it!" she gasped. The fingers wiggled. "I = can wiggle my fingers! Mom, I can feel your hand!" "It works!" Bonnie exclaimed, her wide eyes filled with awe. "This is a scared place!" From The Visitation by Frank Peretti Is this voice? I'm not real sure, but it does cause an interaction, = wanting to read on more. Frances grades 2/3 Portsmouth, VA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: example of voice From: morris Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 20:06:02 -0700 --------------D4D4653513B2B9BC5A70EAA2 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit From Jip, by Katherine Paterson "That's right Sheldon. You ain't got extra sense, but you're lots stronger than most anyone. I can't do without you. All I can do is talk sweet to this here horse. You're the one what's got to save the gig for the overseer." Stacy Morris- 3rd TExas --------------D4D4653513B2B9BC5A70EAA2 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit From Jip, by Katherine Paterson

"That's right Sheldon.  You ain't got extra sense, but you're lots stronger than most anyone.  I can't do without you.  All I can do is talk sweet to this here horse.  You're the one what's got to save the gig for the overseer."

Stacy Morris- 3rd
TExas --------------D4D4653513B2B9BC5A70EAA2-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] From: "Mayra" Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 21:46:39 -0500 "VOICE > What to look and listen for.... > *Individuality > *Sparkle > *Personality > *Liveliness, playfulness > *Emotion > *The unusual > *Taking a chance by trying something new or different > * Recognizing that both the writing and drawing are for self and = audience > *Tailoring communication to an audience > * Response to voice in the writing/art of others" I didn't get an answer to my question so I will ask again. Will a passage from Goodnight Moon be an example of Voice? [It seems to qualify according to the above criteria]. Here is another - guess from who: "Oh sing a song of little things Of bugs and flies and flickering wings of flakes of snow and drops of rain and yellow flowers in the lane Of little pairs of squeaky shoes And mice that laugh until they snooze Of stars and pins and crumbs of cake And bugs that laugh themselves awake." MWB > ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: Joan3teach@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 22:58:05 EDT March 5, 1973, Daly City, California -- I'm late. I've got to finish the dishes on time, otherwise no breakfast; = and since I didn't have dinner last night, Ihave to make sure I get something = to eat. Mother's running around yelling at my borthers. I can hear her stomping down the hallway towards the kitchen. I dip my hands back into = the scalding water. It's too late. She catches me with my hands out of the water. SMACK! Mother hits me in the face, and I topple tothe floor. I know = better than to stand there and take the hit. I learned the hard way that she = takes that as an act of defiance, which means more hits, or worst of all, no = food. I regaian my posture and dodge her looks as she screams into my ear. I act timid, nodding to her threats. "Please," I say to myself, "just let = me eat. Hit me again, but I have to have food." Another blow pushes my head = against the counter top. I let the tears of mock defeat stream down my = face as she storms out of the kitchen, seemingly satisfied with herself. I = count her steps, making sure she's gone. I breathe a sigh of relief. The act worked. Mother can beat me all she wants, but I haven't let her take away = my will to somehow survive..... A Child Called "It" by David Pelzer A powerful book that is all voice! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice assignment From: Brian Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 22:57:04 -0400 My example was easy. I love the Rumpole stories by John Mortimer. They are all (except one) written as if the character Rumpole were recording his memoirs, I have studied them to try to capture their form and style, and they certainly have Voice. They are dripping with it. Here is just a random passage of narration, although the dialogue creates the absolutely priceless parts, from a few pages into the story "Rumpole and the Quality of Life" which appears in the book _Rumpole_and_the_Age_of_Miracles_. Rumpole, who is a British lawyer, has just been to his doctor who tells him his eating habits are terrible and he should go on a diet of "Thin-O-Vite": Is 'not being dead' really enough, even if you have to keep alive on Thin-O-Vite? Battery hens aren't dead. Chained-up fattening pigs aren't dead. Even Judge Graves down the Bailey appears to be still breathing, if you watch him very closely. Life is not enough, in my opinion, per se. It's the quality of life that matters, and a fellow has to have something to live for. Some fine, ennobling, enriching experience. Brian ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice-[Help, Susan] From: Klsikich@aol.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 23:10:05 EDT I definitely think that Goodnight Moon is an excellent example of Voice! = I love MWB. I do have a question - I was told that using the 6 traits is = not appropriate for poetry - has anyone else heard that? Kathi ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: debbiew@mindless.com Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 23:56:22 -0400 (EDT) Thanks for the address! What a great resource! I agree with your ideas = of reading literature as examples of the traits. One book I discovered = this year to teach voice was "Voices in the Park" by Anthony Browne. It = recounts an event in the park but is told by four different points of view = (and voices). My kids were able to pin point each character's voice. = Plus the illustrations are hysterical and very detailed. We reread it = several times and always found something new. I couldn't recommend it = more highly! debbiew/ks/3 ---- you wrote: > > Click = here: > NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits > > Here is a site that will help. > > I am not an expert on this subject, but I took my first 6 Trait workshop = > three years ago. It wasn't until I took my second one that I felt a = little > more comfortable. At the beginning of this year I took my third 3 day > training. (Don't be too hard on yourselves, this does take time!) = Actually > our whole school worked on 6 Traits this year as a growth area. > > In our workshops the presenter answered so many questions. She told us = to > feel comfortable to just teach one trait at a time. We typically want = to > teach conventions. She encouraged us to move away from conventions = until the > final draft. The quality will then be there. > > Another thing that I learned and do is to select two pieces. A "1" and = a"5" > on the rubric. Copy it and put it on the overhead. Discuss both pieces = with > the kids. They will be able to tell you which is the better. They = were > able to score the pieces! I think the key is present contrating piece = to > them. > > What I found helpful personally is to read a picture book recommended = for the > trait you are trying to teach. > > > This manual suggests that the kids make teaching posters for each of the = > traits. Mine were up oin the classroom, so the kids could refer to them = in > evaluating pieces. Northwest Regional Ed. Lab sells the set as well, but = when > the kids do the posters it really puts them in touch with the process. > > To those of you who have taken workshops, what are your thoughts? ---------------------------------------------------------------- Get your free email from AltaVista at http://altavista.iname.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: Voice From: Mary and Greg Gervais Date: Tue, 06 Jul 1999 22:27:05 -0700 I just thought of another book with excellent voice. One could use this as a read-aloud when introducing voice. Gooseberry Park by Cynthia Rylant. Unfortunately my good friend is borrowing it so I can't give you an excerpt, but my 2nd graders absolutely loved it. It is my new favorite chapter book....an updated Charlotte's Web. Mary/?/WA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Example of Voice From: Valerie Dehombreux Date: Tue, 6 Jul 1999 22:46:11 -0700 (PDT) From "How To Eat Fried Worms" by Thomas Rockwell: After the movies, Tom walked home with Billy. "Tomorrow I'll roll the crawler in cornmeal and fry it. Like a trout." "It's not really the taste," said Billy. "It's more the thought. When I start to eat it, even though it's smothered in ketchup and mustard and grated cheese, I can't stop thinking worm. Worm, worm, worm, worm, worm, worm: gaggles of worms in bait boxes, drowned worms drying up on sidewalks, a worm squirming as the fishhook gores into him, the soggy end of a worm draggling out of a dead fish's mouth, robins yanking worms out of a lawn. I can't stop thinking worm." "Yeah, but if I fry it in cornmeal, it won't look like a crawler," said Tom. "I'll put parsley around it, and some slices of lemon. And then you can concentrate, think fish. All the time you're waiting in the barn, all the time you're eating it, keep saying to yourself: fish fish fish fish fish fish fish fish; here I am eating fish, good fish." Valerie Dehombreux 3rd Grade Whiteriver, Arizona _________________________________________________________ Do You Yahoo!? Get your free @yahoo.com address at http://mail.yahoo.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- End of 6Traits Digest