Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 23:10:01 -0700 Subject: 6Traits Digest #17 - 07/05/99 From: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> To: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=iso-8859-1 Content-transfer-encoding: quoted-printable Sender: <6Traits@> Precedence: Bulk List-Software: LetterRip Pro 3.0.5 by Fog City Software, Inc. List-Subscribe: List-Digest: List-Unsubscribe: 6Traits Digest #17 - Monday, July 5, 1999 Voice #1 - 7/5/99 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Voice #2 - 7/5/99 by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> voice by "L. Grotenhuis" Voice by "Sandra Metts" 6Traits- Voice by Voice by Re: 6Traits- Voice by voice by "Smith, David" Re: 6Traits- Voice #2 - 7/5/99 by "Leanne" Re: 6Traits- voice by "Shirley Holloway" 6Traits Cancel by Re: 6Traits- Voice #2 - 7/5/99 by "Mayra" Voice #2 by "Linda Allen" Voice by 6Traits- Voice #2 by "Caryn" voice by Cancel by "Susan Nixon" <susan@desertskyone.com> Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Mary and Greg Gervais" voice by Re: 6Traits- Voice by "SoS Debbie" 6Traits--voice homework by "Caryn" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Dale Fulton" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Dale Fulton" voice assignment by "Angela A. Ackley" Voice by "J Tully" Re: 6Traits- Voice by Voice by "Bess Wilson" Voice by "Gray" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Caryn" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Linda Allen" 6Traits-voice homework by "Avis Breding" Re: 6Traits- voice by "dennis.ada.swanson" Re: 6Traits- Voice by "Shelley Plum" Re: 6Traits- Voice by Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits by Re: 6Traits- Voice by Re: 6Traits- Voice h/wk by Re: 6Traits- Voice h/wk by Re: 6Traits- Voice by "dennis.ada.swanson" Voice by "Shelley Plum" ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice #1 - 7/5/99 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 10:51:53 -0700 Hello, all, I hope you had a wonderful 4th of July and feel ready to exercise those brain cells! We're starting today with the trait of Voice. There isn't any particular order in which traits have to be learned or taught. I start with voice because, while all the traits are important, this is my favorite. This is the trait that keeps us coming back for more of our favorite authors. Please keep in mind that, while we *could* evaluate every piece of writing for all 6 traits, we rarely do. As each trait is taught to students, evaluate for that trait only. When they have a knowledge of all traits, then you might evaluate for more than one. I will probably post this information in more than one message, if it gets too long. First, we'll discuss what voice is. To make it short and sweet, Voice is what makes a piece: Individual and engaging "Ache with caring" Honest, committed, responsive Suit the audience and topic Cause strong interaction with the reader. To expand on that a bit: 1) You feel a strong connection to the writer, emotion, energy, conviction, integrity - you feel *something*. 2) You want to read this piece (or parts of it) aloud to someone else. 3) There's a big difference between placid sincerity and powerful = engagement. 4) Voice takes on different forms as the purpose and audience for the writing changes. 5) No matter what, without *voice*, it's boring! The key question you might ask yourself to identify whether a piece has voice, or not, is: Would you keep reading this piece if it were longer? (*much* longer?) Voice gives you the person behind the words, makes interaction between reader and writer possible, involves the reader in the writing. It shows the writer's awareness of the audience. It identifies the author as individual and expressive. Voice can be strong, even with misspelled words, poor punctuation and capitalization, incomplete sentences, and other writing problems. Voice = is the *voice* of the author and the one trait that keeps readers coming = back, and also keeps writers writing. Susan Nixon 2nd grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice #2 - 7/5/99 From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 11:03:16 -0700 Here are some examples of short student writing which showcase voice: "Most of the chickens were dead anyway. By the time he decided the chickens had to go, most of them were already dead. The whole thing was Dad's idea; some crazy notion about bringing a bit of the old days on the Saskatchewan prairie to suburbia. Dad was like that. Sometimes that line between story and reality got a little fuzzy for him." "I will never forget my aunt Leisa. She loved to bead. She made earings, necklasas, and braslets. She was free sperited. She even swam with the dolfins once. On the horible date of November 13th her sperit was relest from her body." "You want me to tell you what I expect of high school and how my expectations compare to reality? Ha! You're going to love this. If I = was gambling in Las Vegas, all of my money would be gone in half an hour - I was that far off!" "What I want most is strong verbs. Teachers all say I got weak verbs. I got no strong berbs. I always have a tuff time in school cause of that. = I been pushed aroun and hounded to much aboit them verbs. Always them = verbs!" Did you want to know what came next? Were you involved in the student's world? That's voice! Think about your favorite authors, some of whom might be your students. Think about why your heart gives a jump when you look on the shelf and see that new book out by Dick Francis or Anne Perry or Tony Hillerman or Tom Clancy or Linda Lael Miller. Think about how sad it makes you to know there will never be another book by Isaac Asimov or Ayn Rand or Shel Silverstein. That's voice - the feeling that you know them and you've = lost a good friend. Non-fiction also has voice, although, in many instances, it is more = reserved. Individual Assignment: Find a passage from a favorite author which you think demonstrates voice. Share it with the group. Children's authors, children authors, or your favorite free time reading author. mailto:6Traits@ Susan Nixon 2nd Grade Phoenix, AZ ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: voice From: "L. Grotenhuis" Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 13:41:01 -0500 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_0046_01BEC6EC.057CD080 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable The first thing that jumped to mind when thinking about voice is the =3D Junie B. Jones books. Not any specific passage but I feel instantly =3D transported to a Kindergarten classroom or right into the heart of a =3D five year old. Part of it is the language Park uses but also it's the =3D way Junie B. describes how she's feeling. I just learned about these =3D books this year and my first graders were hooked from day one. Laurie =3D Grotenhuis grade 1 ------=3D_NextPart_000_0046_01BEC6EC.057CD080 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
The first thing that jumped to = mind =3D when=3D20 thinking about voice is the Junie B. Jones books. Not any specific =3D passage but I=3D20 feel instantly transported to a Kindergarten classroom or right into the = =3D heart=3D20 of a five year old. Part of it is the language Park uses but also it's =3D the way=3D20 Junie B. describes how she's feeling. I just learned about these books =3D this year=3D20 and my first graders were hooked from day one.  Laurie Grotenhuis =3D grade=3D20 1
------=3D_NextPart_000_0046_01BEC6EC.057CD080-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: "Sandra Metts" Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 13:32:56 -0400 ~~~ ~~~ * * [Sandy] or mometts@earthlink.net ( /\ ) \----/ Is this an example of voice? "As the water trickled into the dirt, I looked at Jenny - she looked at me. We were like that red flower; dug up from our home soil, ferried over rivers, jolted over plains, drylands, and killer mountains. Ma drew us close in a hug so tight I could not = breathe." This is an excerpt from Red Flower Goes West by Ann Turner. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits- Voice From: Geckoed1@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 14:57:32 EDT This is from *Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.* I picked it up to look for a good excerpt and got sucked into reading about 3 chapters! The = whole book is an excellent example of voice. *Can I talk? Vivi asked Teensy, who was stretched out on a lounge chair, = her shoes kicked off. *What do you mean can youtalk?!* Teensy said. *The only way any of us are = going to stay out of The Betty is to talk.* *I have realized that I do not forgive Holy Mother Church,* Vivi said. *I = thought I had, but I haven't. They should have let us bury Genevieve in = the Divine Compassion graveyard.* *HMC still doesn't like final exits via barbituarate-vodka cocktails," Teensy said, sounding vulnerable in spite of her tough words. Lea 5th grade Costa Mesa, CA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 14:53:19 -0500 --------------ACF4990510DCAF588C3309DA Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit "Trisha sat down on the ground, started to say something to Tom Gordon, and realized how stupid it was to be pretending, when it was clear--and growing clearer with every passing hour--that she was going to die. It didn't matter how much walking she did or how many fish she managed to catch and choke down.. She began to cry. She put her face in her hands, sobbing harder and harder. " 'I want my mother!' she yelled to the indifferent day. The hawks were gone, but over by that wooded ridge the crow was still laughing. 'I want my mother, I want my brother, I want my dolly, I want to go home!' " This is from Stephen King's The Girl who Loved Tom Gordon. I like Stephen King because no matter how weird or truly stange the situations his characters find themselves in, they are always regular people who do and say things that I might to in the same situation. Fran Witte Grade 2 Houston, TX --------------ACF4990510DCAF588C3309DA Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit      "Trisha sat down on the ground, started to say something to Tom Gordon, and realized how stupid it was to be pretending, when it was clear--and growing clearer with every passing hour--that she was going to die.  It didn't matter how much walking she did or how many fish she managed to catch and choke down..  She began to = cry.  She put her face in her hands,  sobbing harder and harder.

     " 'I want my mother!'  she yelled to the indifferent day.  The hawks were gone, but over by that wooded ridge the crow was still laughing.  'I want my mother, I want my brother, I want my dolly, I want to go home!' = "

This is from Stephen King's The Girl who Loved Tom Gordon.  I like Stephen King because no matter how weird or truly stange the = situations his characters find themselves in, they are always regular people who do and say things that I might to in the same situation.

Fran Witte
Grade 2
Houston, TX
 
  --------------ACF4990510DCAF588C3309DA-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: MGoudie@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 16:14:14 EDT Voice- the whole story in Abiyoyo The Caribbean accent, vocabulary, the repetition and more. Marcia ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: voice From: D-SMITH@cybersol.com (Smith, David) Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 16:20:20 -0400 My mom took me to the biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiggggggggg Gymboree store. She = bought some clothes. They were pink clothes with matching panties and socks. I liked = them. I picked them. They were nice. They were a little too big, I will have = to wait until first grade. I was very happy! written by Ashleigh, age 6 Is this voice? ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice #2 - 7/5/99 From: Leanne Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 15:31:03 -0500 It was dark outside and cold and no wind. In the distance a calf bawled. He stood with his hat in his hand. You never combed your hair that way in your life, he said. Inside the house there was no sound save the ticking of the mantel clock in the front room. He went out and shut the door. Dark and cold and no wind and a thin gray reef beginning along the eastern rim of the world. He walked out on the prairie and stood holding his hat like some supplicant to the darkness over them all and he stood there for a long time. Cormac McCarthy all the pretty horses ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- voice From: "Shirley Holloway" Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 16:22:22 -0500 Here is a section from Wobegon Boy by Garrison Keillor. Mother said she would discuss Thanksgiving with Byron. "You know how he is," she said . Indeed I did. Dad believed that Lake Wobegon is the = center of sanity in the world and travel only remnds you of it, and once you have it firmly in mind, who needs reminders? And who would take care of the house? What if the furnance shut off and the pipes burst? Dad was a Dark Lutheran. In my youth, he served for two years as scoutmaster of Lake Wobegon Troop No. 12, and when his term was up, the Scouts breathed a sigh of relief. He was a nervous wreck on camping = trips, always counting and recounting our heads, startled at a sound in the underbrush. None of the scouts believed in bears but Dad did and rabid skunks, bad water, escaped lunatics, falling tree limbs, tetanus, a whole shopping list of disaster..... Shirley Holloway/2nd/IN ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits Cancel From: Dswolk@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 17:20:56 EDT Susan, I'm going to have to cancel on the 6 Traits. My group had 4 people, = so I hope that it will be okay. Thank you! Debbie Wolk Dswolk@aol.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice #2 - 7/5/99 From: "Mayra" Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 16:25:54 -0500 "In the great green room there was a telephone And a red balloon And a picture of- The cow jumping over the moon" Margaret Wise Brown, who could use the simplest words to show the most beautiful things, lifting my spirit everytime I read her words. mayra/ WI who is currently looking through all her papers for a great piece written = by a student this year. Will post as soon as I find it. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice #2 From: Linda Allen Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 15:29:25 -0700 Wanda tried opening the door--but the knob came off in her hand. We certainly weren't getting into the castle that way. "Admit it, Ralphie," Keesha said, "this vampire thing is a bunch of junk!" Ralphie peered into a nearby window. "Oh, yeah? Then explain why Ms. Frizzle is making our parents drink blood." >From Magic School Bus Going Batty Linda Allen 2nd Grade Fresno, CA Lisa Repaskey 2nd Grade Oakland, CA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: Tcher0619@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 18:14:32 EDT Just picked up Resistance by Anita Shreve and think her use of voice is = great. The bicycle shuddering, the tire nearly flat. Shit, why hadn't he paid attention to the tires earlier? People in doorways, hanging out of windows. A plane in the village, fallen from the sky like an omen. Head down, keep the head down, blend into the stone, look inconspicuous. = Anthoine should slow down; people would notice they were racing. Anthoine in the kitchen with Claire. Anthoine stank of pigs. He was ugly with his pink face, his small eyes, and that greasy, thin, white-blond hair. Dot/Rdg/Ma. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits- Voice #2 From: Caryn Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 16:26:33 -0600 Great discoveries don't always mean that much. I was there the day Jimmy Baskin found thtat the dents in his skull were different from the dents in everybody else's skull; he figured he'd discovered a whole new way of identifying people. Like fingerprints, they could do skullprints. We was amazed by it and ran around the school feeling everybody's skull, looking for different dents, until he grabbed Moose Ackerman's head by mistake. Moose body-contacted him almost completely through a gym locker an dput = two new dents in Jimmy's skull, and there went his great discovery. Jimmy figures if it was that easy to change the skull-dent pattern his theory wouldn't hold up. Wil Neuton in "The Island" by Gary Paulsen. Caryn Gostlin 8th grade Cedaredge, Colorado ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: voice From: EVANSD2429@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 18:31:27 EDT She smiled at him then, a tentative smile, an invitation to see the humor = in what had happened, but he declined the offer. He stared at her long enough to melt = her smile, then he turned, spit out the window and shook his head in disgust. Finally, digging in the pocket of his jeans, he pulled out a handful of crumpled bills. His movements, exaggerated and quick, were designed to show her he was right on the edge. = He pitched a ten at her, then crammed the rest back in his pocket. from Where the Heart Is by Billie Letts I could really =93hear=94 the author=92s voice in this book- It did make = you=94ache with caring=94 One of my favorite picture books is Air Mail to the Moon by Tom Birdseye in it I can really hear the little country girl who is like so many of my students and maybe a little like me =93Oreo,=94 Mama said to me. (Oreo is my nickname, just like the sweet = cookie I am.) =93Don=92t flop that tooth out when you=92re working. It reminds me of your cousin = Cyrus before he got braces.=94 ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Cancel From: Susan Nixon <susan@desertskyone.com> Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 15:41:00 -0700 If you send a message that you are leaving the group, please tell me your grade level. I have everyone sorted by grade level and I don't remember 150+ people. =3D) Please indicate whether you are unsubscribing yourself, or you need my = help to do that. Please send it privately to me. = mailto:susan@desertskyone.com Thank you. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Mary and Greg Gervais Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 16:02:17 -0700 I also read Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. I would agree with Lea in that this book has great voice. I've been on a reading kick this last week....due to the horrible rainy weather....and also found voice in The Pilot's Wife. I don't have the book with me right now, as a friend is borrowing it, but there are a number of sections that fall in to the "voice" category. Mary/?/WA Geckoed1@aol.com wrote: > > This is from *Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood.* I picked it up = to > look for a good excerpt and got sucked into reading about 3 chapters! = The > whole book is an excellent example of voice. > > *Can I talk? Vivi asked Teensy, who was stretched out on a lounge = chair, her > shoes kicked off. > *What do you mean can youtalk?!* Teensy said. *The only way any of us = are > going to stay out of The Betty is to talk.* > *I have realized that I do not forgive Holy Mother Church,* Vivi said. = *I > thought I had, but I haven't. They should have let us bury Genevieve in = the > Divine Compassion graveyard.* > *HMC still doesn't like final exits via barbituarate-vodka cocktails," > Teensy said, sounding vulnerable in spite of her tough words. > > Lea > 5th grade > Costa Mesa, CA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: voice From: Klsikich@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 19:38:52 EDT Sometimes it's helpful to compare passages - one that is an example with = lots of voice and one example that doesn't have much voice. The following excerpts are from picture books. 1. The Life Cycle of the Frog, Hogan - When the tail is almost gone, the = tadpole becomes a frog. Now it breathes with lungs. With one hop, the = frog goes a long way. It catches insects with its tongue. (Less voice) 2. The Frog Alphabet Book, Pallotta - P is for Poison-arrow Frog. Yikes! = Poison-arrow Frogs! These are the most colorful of all imphibians. The bright colors are a warning for other animals to stay away. Hurry up, = turn the page! (More voice) Jerry Pallotta's nonfiction picture books are great examples of speaking = to the audience. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Debbie "šoš" Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 23:44:47 GMT He painted green grass and trees all night long and by morning he was in a = forest, sleepy, and he lay down under a giant pine to dream. In his = dreams he saw man, man new things and they all moved like life. The Dreamer by Cynthia Rylant Debbie =BAo=BA Grade 2 Ontario --who looks to the voice of all the e-mails that each day brings. Amazing = how we "know" each other by our writing styles, don't you think? ______________________________________________________ Get Your Private, Free Email at http://www.hotmail.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits--voice homework From: Caryn Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 18:29:06 -0600 I have been reading "The Island," which is where I grabbed my first = example of voice. Just now I read another passage that I absolutely had to share with you. "I never realy understood the whole idea of serenity or peace until I saw this guy in a gas station. I was getting some air in my bike tire, and he pulled up to get some gas in a van. When he got out to work the pump, a small dog jumped out of the van and trotted away. Cute little dog. So theyguy stopped pumping gas and called, really soft, for the dog to come and get back in the van. But the dog didn't come. The guy called a = little harder, kind of walking just in back of the dog, and it still wouldn't come, and so he called a little harder, than a little harder, and pretty soon he was screaming and wearing and chasing this little dog all over the gas station, insane with rage, a wild animal almost frothing at the mouth. And when he was just about to go completely into a state of crackers, the dog looked at him, wagged his tail, and jumped up into the van and sat on the seat while the guy went back and finished pumping gas. I figure the dog had serenity." ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Dale Fulton Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 20:54:25 -0400 --------------D112D7D3B3F798DC13965797 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit Maycomb was an old town, but it was a tired old town when I first knew it. In rainy weather th streets turned to red slop; grass grew on the sidewalks, the courthouse sagged in the square. Somehow it was hotter then: a black dog suffered on a summer's day; bony mules hitched to Hoover carts flicked flies in the sweltering shade of the live oaks on the square. Men's stiff collars wilted by nine in the morning. Ladies bathed before noon, after their three o'clock naps, and by nightfall were like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum. To Kill a Mockingbird I think this really speaks to me as a southerner. Especially today as we hit 102 degrees. I can really see the time and the place. Dale Fulton/NC/4th --------------D112D7D3B3F798DC13965797 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit     Maycomb was an old town, but it was a tired old town when I first knew it.  In rainy weather th streets turned to red = slop; grass grew on the sidewalks, the courthouse sagged in the square.  Somehow it was hotter then: a black dog suffered on a summer's day; bony mules hitched to Hoover carts flicked flies in the sweltering shade of the live oaks on the square.  Men's stiff collars wilted by nine in the morning.  Ladies bathed before noon, after their three o'clock naps, and by nightfall were like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet talcum.
To Kill a Mockingbird

I think this really speaks to me as a southerner.  Especially = today as we hit 102 degrees.  I can really see the time and the place.
Dale Fulton/NC/4th --------------D112D7D3B3F798DC13965797-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Dale Fulton Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 21:08:33 -0400 --------------5280614EE278C763B43605A2 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit I do have a question about voice, even as I begin t understand it. How can you teach a young child about voice so that they understand. I mean I constantly teach about sentence structure, proper grammar etc., but good writing doesn't necessarily follow the rules of Proper writing. How do you teach a fourth grader when it is okay to take "liberties"? Dale Fulton/4/NC --------------5280614EE278C763B43605A2 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3Dus-ascii Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit I do have a question about voice, even as I begin t = understand it.  How can you teach a young child about voice so that they = understand.  I mean I constantly teach about sentence structure, proper grammar = etc.,  but good writing doesn't necessarily  follow the rules of Proper = writing.  How do you teach a fourth grader when it is okay to take = "liberties"?
Dale Fulton/4/NC --------------5280614EE278C763B43605A2-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: voice assignment From: "Angela A. Ackley" Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 21:37:01 -0400 (EDT) From "Appalachia, the Voices of Sleeping Birds" by Cynthia Rylant, author = of Newbery Award novel "Missing May" ----- .... Many of them were born in coal camps in tiny houses which stood on = poles and on the sides of which you could draw a face with your finger because = the coal dust had settled on their walls like snow. The owners of these dogs grew up more used to trees than sky and inside them had this feeling of mystery about the rest of the world they couldn't see because mountains = came up so close to them and blocked their view like a person standing in the doorway. They weren't sure about going beyond these mountains, going until the land becomes flat or ocean, and so they stayed where they knew for = sure how the sun would come up in the morning and set again at night. ----- How close is the trait of voice to the old-fashioned term author style? Angela Grs. 5/6 Ashtabula, OH ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: J Tully Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 19:03:23 -0700 I have not read this book, but was pulled into this sample while reading Mosaic of Thought. These are the first 2 paragraphs from "Salvador, Late or Early" by Sandra Cisneros, included in a book titled "Woman Hollering Creek and Other Stories": Salvador with eyes the color of caterpillar, Salvador of the crooked teeth, Salvador whose name the teacher cannot remember, is a boy who is no one's friend, runs along somewhere in the vague direction where homes are the color of bad weather, lives behind a raw wood doorway, shakes the sleepy brothers awake, ties their shoes, combs their hair with water, feeds them milk and corn flakes from a tin cup in the dim dark of the morning. Salvador, late or early, sooner or later arrives with the string of younger brothers ready. Helps his mama, who is busy with the business of the baby. Tugs the arms of Cecilio, Arturito, makes them hurry because today, like yesterday, Aurturito has dropped the cigar box of crayons, has let go the hundred little fingers of red, gree, yellow, blue, and nub of black sticks that tumble and spill over and beyond the asphalt puddles until the crossing-guard lady holds back the blur of traffic for Salvador to collect them again." I think this is an example of voice... Juli first grade/San Diego, CA ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: NMverde@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 21:54:58 EDT In a message dated 7/5/99 12:36:22 PM Mountain Daylight Time, mometts@earthlink.net writes: << s this an example of voice? "As the water trickled into the dirt, I looked at Jenny - she looked at me. We were like that red flower; dug up from our home soil, ferried over rivers, jolted over plains, drylands, = and killer mountains. Ma drew us close in a hug so tight I could not = breathe." This is an excerpt from Red Flower Goes West by Ann Turner. >> Seems like a great selection for word choice. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: "Bess Wilson" Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 22:17:16 -0400 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_00CB_01BEC734.23E6AEE0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable When you mentioned sharing examples of voice, 2 books and authors came =3D to mind immediately. One is Barbara Kingsolver and her book, Pigs in =3D Heaven. The other is Cynthia Rylant's book, Missing May. The latter is = =3D in my classroom and I can't put my hands on the former. Will keep =3D trying. Both of these authors do such a wonderful job of bringing out =3D their characters through their thought processes and through their =3D conversations. I'll keep trying to find an actual example. :-) PS- =3D I'm enjoying reading all of your responses to the list. Thank you.=3D20 ------=3D_NextPart_000_00CB_01BEC734.23E6AEE0 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable

When you mentioned sharing examples of voice, 2 =3D books and=3D20 authors came to mind immediately.  One is Barbara Kingsolver and=3D20 her book, Pigs in Heaven.  The other is Cynthia =3D Rylant's book,=3D20 Missing May.  The latter is in my classroom and I can't put = =3D my hands=3D20 on the former.  Will keep trying.  Both of these authors do =3D such a=3D20 wonderful job of bringing out their characters through their thought=3D20 processes and through their conversations.  I'll keep trying =3D to find=3D20 an actual example.  :-)   PS- I'm enjoying reading all of = =3D your=3D20 responses to the list.  Thank you.
------=3D_NextPart_000_00CB_01BEC734.23E6AEE0-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: "Gray" Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 21:51:56 -0400 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_013E_01BEC730.9982DB00 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable This is from Dogsong by Gary Paulsen Russel Susskitt rolled out of the bunk and put his feet on the floor and = =3D listened in the darkness to the sounds of morning. They were the same sounds he had always heard, sounds he used to =3D listen for. Now in the small government house - sixteen by twenty - =3D they grated like the ends of a broken bone. He heard his father get up and hack and cough and spit into the =3D stove. His father smoked cigarettes all day, rolled them with Prince =3D Albert tobacco, and had one hanging on his lip late into the night. In = =3D the mornings he had to cough the cigarettes up. The sound tore at =3D Russel more than at his father. It meant something that did not belong = =3D on the coast of the sea in a small Eskimo village. The coughing came =3D from Outside, came from the tobacco which came from Outside and Russel =3D hated it. Roberta Gray Grade 2, Geneva, Ohio rgray7@alltel.net gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.htm ------=3D_NextPart_000_013E_01BEC730.9982DB00 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
This is from Dogsong by Gary =3D Paulsen
Russel Susskitt rolled out of the bunk and put his = =3D feet on the=3D20 floor and listened in the darkness to the sounds of =3D morning.
    They were the same sounds he had = =3D always=3D20 heard, sounds he used to listen for.  Now in the small government =3D house -=3D20 sixteen by twenty - they grated like the ends of a broken =3D bone.
    He heard his father get up and = =3D hack and=3D20 cough and spit into the stove.  His father smoked cigarettes all =3D day,=3D20 rolled them with Prince Albert tobacco, and had one hanging on his lip =3D late into=3D20 the night.  In the mornings he had to cough the cigarettes =3D up.  The=3D20 sound tore at Russel more than at his father.  It meant something =3D that did=3D20 not belong on the coast of the sea in a small Eskimo village.  The = =3D coughing=3D20 came from Outside, came from the tobacco which came from Outside and =3D Russel=3D20 hated it.
 
Roberta Gray
Grade 2, Geneva,=3D20 Ohio
rgray7@alltel.net
gray_ro@mail.neomin.ohio.gov
http://www.neomin.ohio.gov/~geneva/spencer/clasroom/mrsgray/index.h= =3D tm
 
------=3D_NextPart_000_013E_01BEC730.9982DB00-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Caryn Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 20:18:42 -0600 I was wondering the same thing, Dale! I can show my 8th graders examples of voice, but how can I make sure they understand what it is? We teachers have so much more reading that we've done in our lives, and we are often more interested in it than our students, speaking as an 8th grade teacher who majored in English, that is! I was thinking of using books on tape so the students can really hear the voice, as well as reading works out loud and having them read their own writing and that of others aloud. I also thought of having them tape-record conversations to try to discern their own "voice." Am I on the right track here, as far as teaching voice? Caryn/8/CO At 21:08 7/5/1999 -0400, you wrote: >>>> I do have a question about voice, even as I begin t understand it. How can you teach a young child about voice so that they understand. I mean I constantly teach about sentence structure, proper grammar etc., but good writing doesn't necessarily follow the rules of Proper writing. How do you teach a fourth grader when it is okay to take "liberties"? Dale Fulton/4/NC ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Linda Allen Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 19:48:31 -0700 I have to agree with Dale. It's hard enough getting them to write a straight paragraph in 2nd--getting them to use adjectives is like pulling teeth--they always forget. I have seem some good examples of voice posted here today--but they were not written by 7 year olds--especially 7 year olds who are LEP and in an EO classroom. Linda Dale Fulton wrote: >=20 > I do have a question about voice, even as I begin t understand it.=A0 > How can you teach a young child about voice so that they understand.=A0 > I mean I constantly teach about sentence structure, proper grammar > etc.,=A0 but good writing doesn't necessarily=A0 follow the rules of > Proper writing.=A0 How do you teach a fourth grader when it is okay to > take "liberties"? > Dale Fulton/4/NC ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: 6Traits-voice homework From: Avis Breding Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 21:25:57 -0500 Working on Tuck Everlasting.. one of my favorite books for 6th grade... by Natalie Babbit As I read the others.. I wondered about Voice. even though they were great... but as Angie pointed out I thought also, it would be the feelings of the author of the selection showing feelings either in the writing or in the characters...would it not!! Here is my selection. Then Jesse gave a great hoop and leapt into the stream, splashing mightily. "What'd you bring for breakfast ma,? he cried. We can eat all the way can't we? I'm starving!" ........................Jesse sang funny old songs in a branches of trees = showing off shamelessly for Winnie, calling to her, "Hey Winnie Foster, watch me!" and "Look what I can do!" ................The boy eyed her as she came forward. What're you doing here? he asked her sternly. It's my wood, said Winnie, surprised by the question. I can come here whenever I want to. At least, I was never here before , but I could have come, any time. CIAO AJB -- http://www.bismarck.k12.nd.us/bps/myhre/ 5-6 Grade Looping Teacher http://www.esosoft.com/abreding/ 5-6gradeconnection@esosoft.com *3-4gradelink@esosoft.com Call on God, but row away from the rocks = ********************* ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- voice From: "dennis.ada.swanson" Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 23:20:15 -0400 This is a multi-part message in MIME format. ------=3D_NextPart_000_0033_01BEC73C.F01F4960 Content-Type: text/plain; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable One of my favorite books is also by Barbara Park called THE=3D20 KID IN THE RED JACKET. I like it even better than her Junie B. Jones books (and the chldren DO love those...I think because she does the outrageous...most things they wouldn't dare do). THE KID IN THE RED JACKET is about a boy who is forced to=3D20 move away from his friends because his father is transferred. The title comes from what people call kids when they don't know their names. The first person he meets is a little girl who is also outrageous in the things she does. The friendship that develops...and deepens after he =3D has let her down is incredible. She lives with her grandmother for some of the obvious reasons....( NO MORE... you will have to read it! I actually cry when I read certain parts of it...and I'm not a crier! Talk about voice! Ada -----Original Message----- From: L. Grotenhuis To: 6Traits@ <6Traits@> Date: Monday, July 05, 1999 2:29 PM Subject: 6Traits- voice =3D20 =3D20 The first thing that jumped to mind when thinking about voice is the = =3D Junie B. Jones books. Not any specific passage but I feel instantly =3D transported to a Kindergarten classroom or right into the heart of a =3D five year old. Part of it is the language Park uses but also it's the =3D way Junie B. describes how she's feeling. I just learned about these =3D books this year and my first graders were hooked from day one. Laurie =3D Grotenhuis grade 1 ------=3D_NextPart_000_0033_01BEC73C.F01F4960 Content-Type: text/html; charset=3D"iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
One of my favorite = =3D books is also by=3D20 Barbara Park called THE
KID=3D20 IN THE RED JACKET.  I like it even better than her
Junie B. Jones books (and the = chldren =3D DO love=3D20 those...I
think because she does the =3D outrageous...most=3D20 things they
wouldn't dare do).
THE KID IN THE RED JACKET is about a = =3D boy who is=3D20 forced to
move away from his friends because = his =3D father is=3D20 transferred.  The
title comes from what people =3D call  kids when=3D20 they don't know
their names.
The first person=3D20 he meets is a little girl who is also outrageous in the
things she does.  The = friendship =3D that=3D20 develops...and deepens after he has let
 her down is incredible.  = =3D She lives with=3D20 her grandmother for some of the
obvious reasons....( NO MORE... you = =3D will have to=3D20 read it!  I actually
cry when I read certain parts of =3D it...and I'm not=3D20 a crier!  Talk
about voice!
 
Ada
-----Original =3D Message-----
From:=3D20 L. Grotenhuis <lgrote@tcbi.com>
To: = =3D 6Traits@lists.CyberSpaces.n= =3D et=3D20 <6Traits@lists.CyberSpaces.n= =3D et>
Date:=3D20 Monday, July 05, 1999 2:29 PM
Subject: 6Traits-=3D20 voice

The first thing that jumped to = =3D mind when=3D20 thinking about voice is the Junie B. Jones books. Not any specific =3D passage=3D20 but I feel instantly transported to a Kindergarten classroom or =3D right into=3D20 the heart of a five year old. Part of it is the language Park uses =3D but also=3D20 it's the way Junie B. describes how she's feeling. I just learned =3D about=3D20 these books this year and my first graders were hooked from day =3D one. =3D20 Laurie Grotenhuis grade 1
------=3D_NextPart_000_0033_01BEC73C.F01F4960-- ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: Shelley Plum Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 20:21:15 PDT Hey Dale! You beat me to the assignment!!! Good example..I am still = trying to read through my email! I will find one and post it though! Good job partner! Do you like the books by Mildred Taylor, Roll of = Thunder Hear My Cry and Let the Circle Be Unbroken, The Well?? I just read the Well last March and began reading it outloud to the class = at the end of the school year...they BEGGED for me to read it to them..they even offered to skip going outside when we had a chance! Shelley/4/OK >From: Dale Fulton >Reply-To: "SixTraitsMailring" <6Traits@> >To: SixTraitsMailring <6Traits@> >Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice >Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 20:54:25 -0400 > > Maycomb was an old town, but it was a tired old town when I first >knew it. In rainy weather th streets turned to red slop; grass grew on >the sidewalks, the courthouse sagged in the square. Somehow it was >hotter then: a black dog suffered on a summer's day; bony mules hitched >to Hoover carts flicked flies in the sweltering shade of the live oaks >on the square. Men's stiff collars wilted by nine in the morning. >Ladies bathed before noon, after their three o'clock naps, and by >nightfall were like soft teacakes with frostings of sweat and sweet >talcum. >To Kill a Mockingbird > >I think this really speaks to me as a southerner. Especially today as >we hit 102 degrees. I can really see the time and the place. >Dale Fulton/NC/4th _______________________________________________________________ Get Free Email and Do More On The Web. Visit http://www.msn.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: NMverde@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 23:26:53 EDT Click her= e:=20 NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits =20 Here is a site that will help. I am not an expert on this subject, but I took my first 6 Trait workshop=20 three years ago. It wasn't until I took my second one that I felt a little=20 more comfortable. At the beginning of this year I took my third 3 day=20 training. (Don't be too hard on yourselves, this does take time!) Actually=20 our whole school worked on 6 Traits this year as a growth area. In our workshops the presenter answered so many questions. She told us to=20 feel comfortable to just teach one trait at a time. We typically want to=20 teach conventions. She encouraged us to move away from conventions until th= e=20 final draft. The quality will then be there. =20 Another thing that I learned and do is to select two pieces. A "1" and a"5"=20 on the rubric. Copy it and put it on the overhead. Discuss both pieces wit= h=20 the kids. They will be able to tell you which is the better. They were=20 able to score the pieces! I think the key is present contrating piece to=20 them. =20 What I found helpful personally is to read a picture book recommended for th= e=20 trait you are trying to teach. =20 This manual suggests that the kids make teaching posters for each of the=20 traits. Mine were up oin the classroom, so the kids could refer to them in=20 evaluating pieces. Northwest Regional Ed. Lab sells the set as well, but whe= n=20 the kids do the posters it really puts them in touch with the process. =20 To those of you who have taken workshops, what are your thoughts? In a message dated 7/5/99 8:21:38 PM Mountain Daylight Time,=20 lla15@cvip.fresno.com writes: << have to agree with Dale. It's hard enough getting them to write a straight paragraph in 2nd--getting them to use adjectives is like pulling teeth--they always forget. I have seem some good examples of voice posted here today--but they were not written by 7 year olds--especially 7 year olds who are LEP and in an EO classroom. =20 Linda =20 Dale Fulton wrote: >=20 > I do have a question about voice, even as I begin t understand it.=A0 > How can you teach a young child about voice so that they understand.=A0 > I mean I constantly teach about sentence structure, proper grammar > etc.,=A0 but good writing doesn't necessarily=A0 follow the rules of > Proper writing.=A0 How do you teach a fourth grader when it is okay to > take "liberties"? > Dale Fulton/4/NC >> ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Check out NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits From: NMverde@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 23:30:21 EDT Click here: NWREL's Six + 1 Writing Traits Go to the section called practice papers. It might clear up some things. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: NMverde@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 23:35:32 EDT In a message dated 7/5/99 9:28:30 PM Mountain Daylight Time, = NMverde@aol.com writes: << Another thing that I learned and do is to select two pieces. A "1" and = a"5" on the rubric. Copy it and put it on the overhead. Discuss both pieces with the kids. They will be able to tell you which is the better. They will able to score the pieces! I think the key is to present contrasting = pieces to them. >> Sorry, I should have done a better job on conventions! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice h/wk From: Dse20@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 23:34:56 EDT from High Tide in Tucson: ....I think that is also the secret of writing: attitude. Hope, unyielding = faith in the enterprise. If only I hold my mouth right, keep a clear fix = on what I believe is true while I make up my stories, surely I will end up saying what I mean. Then, if I offend someone, it won't be an accidental casualty. More likely, it will be because we actually disagree. I can live = with that. The memory of my buffalo-nickel grandfather advises me still, = in lonely moments: 'If you never stepped on anybody's toes, you never been = for a walk.' - Barbara Kingsolver another: (I couldn't decide!) ....For each of us-furred, feathered, or skinned alive- the whole earth balances on the single precarious point of our own survival. In the best = of times, I hold in mind the need to care for things beyond the self: poetry, = humanity, grace. In other times, when it seems difficult merely to survive = and be happy about it, the condition of my thought tastes as simple as = this: let me be a good animal today. I've spent months at a stretch, even years, = with that taste in my mouth, and have found that it serves. -Kingsolver (from High Tide in Tucson) Isn't she wonderful?!! Beth B./2 Orlando ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice h/wk From: NMverde@aol.com Date: Mon, 5 Jul 1999 23:40:11 EDT In a message dated 7/5/99 9:37:10 PM Mountain Daylight Time, Dse20@aol.com = writes: << I think that is also the secret of writing: attitude. Hope, unyielding faith in the enterprise. If only I hold my mouth right, keep a clear fix = on what I believe is true while I make up my stories, surely I will end up saying what I mean. Then, if I offend someone, it won't be an accidental casualty. More likely, it will be because we actually disagree. I can = live with that. The memory of my buffalo-nickel grandfather advises me still, = in lonely moments: 'If you never stepped on anybody's toes, you never been = for a walk.' - Barbara Kingsolver >> WONDERFUL! ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Re: 6Traits- Voice From: "dennis.ada.swanson" Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 23:56:46 -0400 -----Original Message----- =46rom: Debbie =BAo=BA Debbie =BAo=BA Grade 2 Ontario --who looks to the voice of all the e-mails that each day brings. Am= azing how we "know" each other by our writing styles, don't you think? ****************** That is so true...quite an insight! ...and yet, I do think I have di= fferent voices...determined for my passion for the topic (and sometimes by my pre-occupation) Ada ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Subject: Voice From: Shelley Plum Date: Mon, 05 Jul 1999 21:24:27 PDT "Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?" She, supposing Him to = be the gardner, said to Him, "Sir, if You have carried Him away, tell me where You have laid Him, and I will take Him away." Jesus said to her, "Mary!" I can hear her desperation. Shelley/4/OK _______________________________________________________________ Get Free Email and Do More On The Web. Visit http://www.msn.com ---------------------------------------------------------------------- End of 6Traits Digest