Scores for Birthday

Ideas: 4

The writer has made a point with the writing. There is no illustration. The main idea is clear. Details are present, but as a list.

Organization: 4

No title is present. The child has a sense of story, and there is a beginning which works well. There is an attempt at ending. The child has limited transitions and a logical sequence to events. Key ideas begin to surface.

Voice: 3

The child communicates some feeling. The writing shows energy and some enthusiasm. Treatment of topic is predictable, but there is a sense of the child as he counts his possible birthday cakes. There is an awareness that someone else will read it and there is a limited connection between the reader and writer.

Word Choice: 3

Words used are general and ordinary, but used correctly. The child has settled for words and phrases which will do. There is no experimentation with words.

Sentence Fluency: 3

The story is one run-on sentence, with many ands to connect ideas. Without the ands, the child does demonstrate a variety of sentence structures. All these sentences would begin in the same way, generally with "I." The child's idea is clearly expressed, requiring no rereading. There are some indications that the sentence fluency could easily become a 4. The teacher will need to discuss run-on sentences in mini-lessons.

Conventions: 3

The writer's spelling of high frequency words is still spotty, but phonetic spellings are very readable. The entire story is written as one sentence and there is only a period at the end. Otherwise, grammar is standard, and no interpretation is needed to understand the text.

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